


That Mixtape of 1994

by VanityFan19



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: AU, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2019-10-11 06:07:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 29,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17441366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VanityFan19/pseuds/VanityFan19
Summary: TEEN AU. It will be flashbacks from the present day to 1994. The time Vanessa and Charity last saw each other.





	1. Emmerdale is home.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanessa moves to Emmerdale and bumps into an old 'friend'.

2019\. The start of a new year. Vanessa had finally got a place to call home. She had been working in Emmerdale’s Veterinary Centre for the last five years, taking a share two years ago. She’s always loved being a Vet and now she loves being a mum to Johnny. She had moved from Leeds, commuting daily was getting tiring and there was so much to offer in the village. Her dad and sister lived in the village, and there was everything she needed at the touch of her fingertips.  
Vanessa carried the last box through the entrance and set it down with the rest. She turned to Tracy and Frank who were currently in the kitchen looking for champagne glasses.  
“That was the last box. I can’t believe this is my home” She took of her coat and hung it across a box making her way into the kitchen.  
“Proud of you Teeny. You and Johnny will love it here” He hugged his daughter as they all clinked their glasses together.  
“Shall we go to the pub for dinner?” Tracy suggested  
“Yeah. I’ve been hear almost everyday for the last five years and I haven’t set foot into the pub. What’s it like?” Vanessa asked  
“They have the most gorgeous gobby landlady, and the foods good too” She winked at Vanessa.  
“Ok” She rolled her eyes “Can you go and play with Johnny for a few hours, let me get some unpacking done and I’ll meet you back here about five.”  
“Yes boss” Tracy saluted as she walked out the door.  
Vanessa spent a good few hours, sorting out Johnny’s room and the bathroom. She moved into her room, made the bed and started moving all the boxes to be unpacked, clothes to be hung up and put away. She didn’t realise how long she had been working for, but she heard a knock at the door, but it opened straight away. She knew it was Tracy so carried on putting some bits away.  
“Wow. You’ve done loads V” Tracy said from behind her causing Vanessa to shoot into the air.  
“Don’t sneak up on me like that Tracy”

 

They headed over to the pub and went straight to the table. Tracy went to the bar, Vanessa did keep looking to see who the gorgeous landlady was. There was a brunette at the bar probably the same age as Vanessa if not a bit older. I mean she was pretty, but she looked friendly and not gobby. Tracy was normally quite good at describing people, but she didn’t see the match. Tracy walked back over and set her drinks down, they decided what she was going to order.  
“I thought you said the landlady was gorgeous. Don’t get me wrong she’s very pretty but”  
“Woah Vanessa. I wasn’t talking about Chas, that’s the other landlady. The blonde one will be in later and she is proper hot”  
“Oh, right ok” Vanessa rubbed at the back of her neck a little embarrassed.  
A couple of hours had passed, and they had finished eating, Johnny was now occupied on his aunties phone and Tracy and Vanessa had got another bottle of wine.  
“Chas you are free to go. I am here.” A loud voice called out from the back of the pub.  
“That’s her coming out now.” Tracy said. Vanessa didn’t want to make it obvious she was so intrigued, so she kept her head down for a while. She caught sight of familiar blonde curls and flicked her eyes up. They locked eyes for a minute before Charity walked towards the back room.  
“Oh V, there is chemistry!”  
“Shut up Tracy” Vanessa’s face had started to go bright red as she looked down at the table.  
The blonde came back through a few minutes later and walked straight for the table, she was wringing her hands together. She stopped in front of Vanessa causing Vanessa to look up.  
“Vanessa? Vanessa Woodfield? Is that really you?” Charity beamed at her  
“Yes. What do you want?” Vanessa snapped back.  
“Nothing. It’s good to see you.” She gave a little wave as she walked back behind the bar.  
“What was that all about? You already know the hot landlady?” Tracy asked  
“Yes. I need to go, are you still ok to have Johnny for the night? I’ll get as much as I can unpacked tonight and tomorrow morning. I’ll give you a call yeah” She had flung her bag and coat over her arm, kissed Johnny on the head and headed for the door. Tracy was so confused and looked over at Charity who was sat with her back to her, leaning on her elbow.  
Vanessa couldn’t breath as she ran through the village back towards home. As soon as she got inside, she headed straight for her room. She found the box marked ‘memories’ and pulled it open, finding the old CD player she plugged in the headphones and lay back on the bed. She couldn’t believe after all these years of listening to the mixtape and never really forgetting, she bumped into Charity Dingle. She felt fresh tears slide down her cheeks as she pressed play, she closed her eyes and waiting for all the memories to come flooding back.


	2. Song 1: I'm too sexy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first song on the disc.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was really nervous about posting this chapter. I have loads of ideas but not sure exactly where I'm going with it. The first chapter was just written but I hope they go through Vanessa POV now. Let me know what you guys think of it? 
> 
>  
> 
> If any wants to give me any advice, leave your twitter down below and I'll message you or give me a DM. @VFan19

:Leeds, November 1993:

As I walked through the hallways of the university, I took in all my surroundings. The high walls joined onto a large glass ceiling. This place was magical, and it wouldn’t cost me much to travel.  
I decided to head towards the main hall, have a look at the prospectus, see if they were offering the course I wanted. The hall was full of lots of people, mostly people with their parents. I pulled my bag a bit tighter. Mum wasn’t interested in all this University lark, and I can’t really complain if she’s paying for it. I picked up a few of the leaflets on the desk and looked through them. That’s when I felt my body collide with someone else. I stumbled backwards, and my bum hit the floor.  
“Ouch. Sorry, are you ok?” I heard a voice say above me and a hand reaching down to pull me up.  
“Yeah, don’t worry I should have looked where I was going” I took the hand and let myself be pulled up. I came face to face with a girl my age. She had beautiful blonde hair, perfectly curled and a warm smile.  
“Charity.” She said. I looked down our hands still joined.  
“Excuse me?” I asked  
“Charity. My name is Charity” she laughed then, a proper laugh that was the most infectious I’d ever heard.  
“Vanessa. Vanessa Woodfield”   
“Nice to meet you Vanessa… Woodfield” She shook my hand and carried on smiling at me.  
“ Likewise,” I nodded back. I suddenly gained a confidence I never usually had “I was just heading off; do you want to grab a coffee?”  
“Sure” She left go of my hand then and started to stride towards the exit. I flung my bag further onto my shoulder and began to follow her, the stupidest grin on my face.  
We sat in the coffee shop for over 2 hours, I’d had a tea and she’d opted for a cappuccino. We shared a little cake she brought and just sat and spoke.  
“Do you think you’ll pick this University?” I asked.  
“No. I won’t go to University. I just like to have a look at them.” Charity shrugged her shoulders.  
“Why not?”  
“I have other commitments kid.” Charity looked at her watch, our time was up. I didn’t know if I was going to see her again.   
“I’m sorry Ness. I have to go.” I blushed hard at the nickname she had formed already.  
“No worries. It was really nice meeting you”  
Charity’s phone begun to ring. I listened to the ringtone play out. She quickly snatched it from her pocket and decline the call. I laughed out loud  
“Was that I’m too sexy?”   
“Yes. It was a joke and I forgot to change it alright?” she hissed at me  
“Sorry” I wiped the tears away.” I mean its not wrong. You’re too sexy for your shirt” I laughed again. I couldn’t believe what I just said. I was never one to flirt that openly. OR that badly. I just sat and waited for Charity to reply.  
“Smooth. I really need to go. Do you want to swap numbers? It would be good to do this again?”  
“Ok.” I wanted to scream with joy, I was so happy she wanted to meet up again. We swapped phones and I typed out my number saving it as ‘Ness X’. We took back our phones and headed out of the coffee shop together  
“Bye then. Text me later?” I said hopefully  
“I will. Bye Vanessa” She spoke, she waved and walked backwards before stopping and walking back towards me. Our lips suddenly crashed together, and I couldn’t help the moan that escaped, once we came apart, she rested her forehead against mine “ Sorry. That just felt right.”  
“Don’t be sorry, I enjoyed it ” I kissed her a final time “Now go”  
Charity turned around and began walking down the street, I watched her go. she turned back and waved a final time before I started heading in the opposite direction. I was on a high striding down the streets. I couldn’t believe I’d met such a stunning girl. My phone buzzed from my pocket. She texted me.  
‘Not a bad kisser, V. When can I see you again?’ My smile grew again, my cheeks beginning to hurt from all this smiling.  
‘Whenever you like. I’m free later or tomorrow?’  
‘ I’ll try to do later? I can text you to let you know. Where do you fancy going?’  
‘No one is in at mine?’  
‘Ooooh. Vanessa Woodfield are you trying to seduce me?’ I chuckled again  
‘I’ll answer that later.’ I joked back, I told her I'd hopefully see her later and ended the call I had to pick up the pace to get to the bus stop on time.   
I got off the bus outside my house and fished in my bag for the keys. I had to take a few breaths, I didn’t want to get my hopes up, she might not be able too. I jumped in the shower and tidied up the house a little bit, I checked my phone every twenty minutes waiting for anything. my phone started to ring, and I picked it up  
“Hi. Sorry I’ve not been able to text, are we still ok for later? say 7?”  
“Yeah that’s cool. I’ll text you my address” We said our goodbyes and hung up.  
I fired off a quick text and decided to open a bottle of wine. I prepared some food and lit some candles around the house. I was glad mum was off with her boyfriend from the tennis club. I heard a knock on the door at seven o’clock. At least she wasn’t late. I opened the door and took in the beautiful site before me. She had a big coat slung over s pair of jeans and a little more makeup around her eyes, but she’d taken off the lipstick.   
“Hello… again Vanessa”  
Hi, come in” I stepped aside

 

:Emmerdale, 2019:

I pressed play on the first song and like always I let out a laugh, remembering the first day we met clearly. I’m too sexy – I never liked the song but I loved it one reason. It always took me back to the day at the coffee shop and the things that changed my entire life the night after that. When she gave me this CD, I was heartbroken. I never thought the first song will make me laugh and cry at all the now vicious memories that followed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will also be longer parts about the present to see if they can re-kindle the friendship/romance from when they was 18 and the way this CD has affected Vanessa.


	3. Song 2: Girls just wanna have fun.

:Emmerdale, 2019:

A few weeks passed, and I had avoided the pub. I was living here permanently I was bound to run into her at some point. I’d met the other Dingles; how did the name never click. I’d worked in this small village for five years and had never bumped into her. Paddy was with Chas Dingle. I didn’t know what I was going to do or what I was going to say. Tracy had kept asking questions, but I’d waved it off. I miss her, I always have but I never thought I would see her again, it had been twenty-four years.  
I dropped Johnny off at his new nursery and made my way over to the café before the surgery opened. I was glad Johnny had settled in, he come home every evening telling about his best friend ‘Moses’ I did think who calls a baby Moses but each to their own. I noted to speak to Moses Mum or Dad see if they want to meet for a playdate. Tracy was outside the shop, I gave her a little wave and carried on walking. I stepped into the Café and walked over to Brenda  
“Morning, Can I get a cappuccino and a bacon roll please?”  
“No worries. Take away or eating in?”  
“I’ll eat in please” I looked in my bag for my purse.  
“I’ll get these” I knew the voice straight away, Charity. She was already placing her own order and handing over the cash.   
“Thanks” I muttered  
“Do you want to sit together?” Charity asked. I could see Brenda looking at Charity funny.  
“Ok” I shrugged.   
We wondered over to the little sofa booth in the corner.  
“Look, I’m sorry if I freaked you out the other day. I was just really surprised to see you. It’s been years”  
“twenty-four” I mumbled back  
“Pardon?”  
“It’s been twenty-four years”   
“Wow” I saw her shoulders sink, she sat back in the chair, she fingered her hand through her hair pushing it off her face.   
“How are you finding it here? How’s your kid finding the nursery?”  
“Its good. How did you know I had a kid?” I looked up at her then  
“My little nipper goes there, he’s growing up so quick. Comes back and natters on about all his mates. The newest craze is Johnny. Anyway, how have you been?”  
“That’s my little boy”  
“What? I know its awkward Vanessa, but your sentences aren’t making sense babe”   
I felt my stomach contract at the mention of ‘babe’ she always called me that. I never like anyone calling me that after. I remember when Kirin tried, I had to tell him I hated it. It didn’t feel right coming from anyone else.  
“Sorry, my boy his names Johnny. He comes home talking about Moses, is that your boy?”  
“Yeah. I didn’t get to choose the name, so don’t ask” She laughed then, I smirked too.  
“We’ll have to arrange something for them one evening” I didn’t think for one minute it would be Charity’s son, but Johnny clearly enjoyed Moses company, I can’t be selfish.  
“I need to go open up the pub, can I take your number and we can arrange something” I handed over my phone and she typed in her number and text herself, she handed the phone back  
“It’s been so good to see you again” she said as she got up “I’ll text you”  
“Ok. Thanks, its been good to see you too” I gave her a sheepish grin and packed my stuff together. All the kids in the Nursery, Johnny made friends with Charity’s. Maybe it was fate bringing us back together. I quickly shook my head, it’s so different now, it’s been too many years.  
I walked straight over the surgery. Rhona was stood by the front door, I gave her a little wave.  
“Vanessa what time do you call this?” She looked at her watch, I looked at my watch.  
“Shit, sorry. I got held up at the café, lost track of time”  
“Paddy said. You and Charity Dingle?” Rhona winked  
“Oh, yeah” I started to panic, Rhona was the only one I told about Charity, but I’d never disclosed her name. “Kids go to Nursery together. She was just being friendly”  
“Charity doesn’t do friendly, just be careful, she’s trouble” she squeezed my shoulder and I gave her a nod. Trouble. Didn’t I know it.   
The rest of the morning went quickly, I was just leaving Veronica’s stud farm and was ready to head home for the day. My phone buzzed in my pocket and I hoped it wasn’t another call out. I was tired and just wanted to go home and relax.  
The message was from ‘C’ with a love heart emoji next to it. I swiped to unlock, Charity had sent a simple message.  
‘Wednesday Night? I have the evening off? We could take them to that little diner in town?’   
I needed to think how I wanted to handle this. I put my phone away and got into the car. As I turned on the engine and the car roared to life. The second song played. Girls just want to have fun. It always reminded her of their nights clubbing. It was a feel-good song. She turned up the radio and began her drive back to the village.  
‘ That’s all they really want. Some fun.’ 

 

 

:Leeds, 1993:  
A few weeks had passed since I met Charity. I know I’ve always had crushes on girls, but I never thought I would do anything about it. We had seen each other quite a bit and shared a few kisses. She had suggested we go out to a club for the night. I’d never been out before so had agreed. I told mum I was staying over at a friends. I knew she wouldn’t like the idea of me going to a club, I wasn’t eighteen ‘til March. We met at the bus stop near mine and waited for the bus to take us into town. It felt different tonight, she stood that bit closer. We laughed that bit harder.

When I first stepped foot inside the club, I panicked at the amount of people I saw, all crowded on a dancefloor, jamming to what ever music was playing. I spied the tables around the edge of the room and made a beeline for them, Charity making her way to the bar. She returned with a tray of drinks, I saw some bright coloured shots and a bottle of Chardonnay with two glasses.  
“Wow, I’ve not drunk properly before” I said as she sat down across from me, I looked at the shots all lined up “Are you trying to get me hammered?”  
“No. We are just going to have a good time” She replied picking up two shots and handing one over to me “Chin-Chin” she shot it back as did I, my face didn’t hold up as well as hers.   
We carried on drinking and laughing together, the night speeding up. We were onto our second bottle of wine and I had done about 8 shots. I felt a lot lighter and a lot braver. I had moved to sit next to Charity and she had rested her hand on my leg. I wanted to stay like this forever. The club was even busier now, but I couldn’t take my eyes away from her. She let her head swing to the music, occasionally humming along. She pulled a pack of cigarettes from her pocket and held them out to me.  
“Oh no, thanks. I don’t smoke. I didn’t know you did either” I waved the packet away.  
“I don’t really. Rarely. It does go nice with wine though.” She grabbed my hand and dragged me towards the smoking area. She took out a lighter and lit the cigarette, before inhaling and letting out a large puff. She backed herself onto the wall, one foot rested against it. I had to bite back a moan, I didn’t like smoking, but she made it look so hot. The way her lips hugged the tips before tipping her head back and breathing out a puff of smoke.   
“I love this song! It such a dancey one!” She stubbed the cigarette on the wall behind her as the opening to an upbeat song started playing. Before I could protest, I was a rubbish dancer, she had pulled me into the centre of the dancefloor. I watched her twirl around in front of me, throwing her arms up in the air and singing along. I knew I was stood still just staring, lost in the sight of her. My heart was beating fast, I didn’t want people to notice me.  
Eventually, I pulled myself together and started to move my feet in time with the music. She was singing at the top of her lungs now, swaying from side to side. I hadn’t seen her this happy and content before. It’s an image I’m sure will stay in my mind forever. I don’t want to forget it.  
We stayed on the dancefloor for most of the night, only leaving to have a drink or another shot. The club was hot, the people packed closely together. The crowd made it difficult to stay apart, not that I minded but we would end up stepping on one another’s toes. I stepped wrong and nearly fell only for her hands to go around my waist and hoist me back up. We laughed together then, but her arms didn’t leave my waist. I twisted around so my back was fitted tightly around her front and we began to sway together. It was like it was just me and her on the dancefloor and we paid no attention to anyone else. I looked back over my shoulder and when she looked down, I saw a bright smile that made my heart stop. I knew this night would change everything. It felt like we were on the dancefloor for hours. The DJ called over the music.  
“Time for the last song. We will give you a real dancey one before you go. Ladies and Gentlemen, let’s have some fun!” A loud screeching sounds came out and the smoke machine had fired up.

‘I come home in the morning light   
My Mother says when you gonna live your life right   
Oh Mother dear we’re not the fortunate ones  
And girls they wanna have fun  
Oh girls just wanna have fun’  
I loved the beat, I swayed my hips against Charity’s and we continued to dance until the last chord strung. We pulled apart then as the lights came back on. We made our way out of the club and towards the station, it was a fair walk and the time it was four thirty, our bus didn’t leave for another hour. I’d told mum I would be coming home early as I had some University applications to look through, so it worked out just right. We got on the bus that took us just down the road from my home. The journey was fairly long, it took a longer route this early in the morning. We had sat together on the top deck and I had dozed off leaning my head on her shoulder, I wasn’t used to staying out all night so fatigue had started to hit me, and I was still rather tipsy. I felt her arm wrap around my shoulder and her lips graze against the top of my head. She lingered there for a while. I let her before I lifted my head, slowly looking up at her with tired eyes. As her eyes focused on mine, I saw a small smile tug at the corners of her lips. I watched her eyes flick from my eyes to my lips, continuously. My mouth watered as I watched her, and I began to edge my head forward, we met in the middle and our lips crashed together. It felt amazing. We were interrupted by the bus grinding to a halt and lost contact as we sprung apart and shakily walked off the bus and down towards my house. We stopped at the edge of my street and she grabbed my hand.  
“I had a really good time Vanessa. We have to do this again” she said as she swung our hand between us.  
“Me too” a faint smile appearing on my lips. I breathed a heavy sigh of relief.  
“Next Friday?” her voice sounded unsure.  
“Yes. Text me about it”   
“Ok. Goodnight Ness” she walked closer to me and placed a kiss on my cheek before stepping backwards and dropping my hand at the last minute.   
I walked back towards my house, biting my lip and holding my hand over my chest. I couldn’t wait for next week.


	4. Song 3: Groove is in the heart.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> January 1994. Lets go!

:Leeds, 1994:

The next couple of Saturday nights after that were spent the same way. She would give me a call every Saturday afternoon after work, and we’d arrange a time. I’d never been a drinker or a partier before, so the hangover was ghastly, Rhona had started asking questions in college on the Monday’s. Despite our blossoming friendship, we never spoke much outside of a Saturday, a couple of texts here and there however the time we did spend together was special and we both cherished it. I tried to keep focused on college work praying for the weekend to come faster. We had gone out over Christmas and the New Year, shared a small kiss as the clock struck midnight. I’d got a fancy radio at Christmas and I tried to listen as much as I could to keep up to date with the music. I wanted Charity to think I knew the songs and wasn’t waving my arms about for nothing. To accompany my radio, I’d also received a little mp3 player. Me and Rhona would often have a headphone in on the way to college and I listen to my favourites through-out the day, remembering the way we moved together on the dancefloor.  
As I heard the opening for ‘Groove is in the heart’ one Saturday. It was my turn to drag Charity to the dancefloor and belt out the words. We’d arrived at the club slightly earlier that evening and had drank more than we ever had before. I wasn’t even sure what shots I was consuming anymore. It was my last weekend before going back to college and I wanted to make the very most of it before I was back in a whirlwind of mock exams and essays. The energy had shifted up again that night, the drink had made me confident to pull her closer to me on the dancefloor, to fell her wrapping around me. The club was busier than it had been for a while, we looked at each other and she mimicked smoking a cigarette, so I let her lead me off the dancefloor, picking up our drinks and heading outside. The cold air hit me and made my head spin. I stumbled around looking for an empty space, I pulled her around the side of the club and leaned back against the wall, letting my head fall to the brick with a soft thud. She leaned against the wall beside me, our shoulders joined together. I watched her fiddle in her bag for her cigarettes, the drink clearly helping her hand-eye co-ordination suffer.  
“I’ll do it” I said quietly, pushing myself upright on the wall and replacing her hands with my own, I found the packet and lighter, placing a cigarette between her lips and clicking the lighter. She sucked on the cigarette before dropping it to her side and blowing a line of smoke, letting her shoulders slump down. She raised her hand and pushed her hair out of her face.  
“I’m suppose to be the lightweight. Your pissed as a fart” I laughed. She gently pushed me back.  
“Shut up. You ate on the bus here. You’re a cheater” She poked her tongue out and continued to smoke her cigarette. We went silent then and I just watched her altering between drags and sips of her cocktail.  
“Does it feel good?” I asked suddenly “A fag when you’re drunk?”  
“The best. Especially when you’re as pissed as I am” she laughed, pulling herself off the wall and walking over to me “Give it a go” she looked at me intensely pushing herself of the wall, pinching the cigarette between two fingers and turning it towards me, her eyes never leaving mine. I moved my head forward and wrapped my lips around the butt, taking a short drag before it hit my lungs and I pulled back spluttering. She laughed and took another drag herself before stubbing it onto the bin next to us.  
“I’m guessing you don’t feel the same?”   
“No” I wiped my mouth “It’s not funny either” I smirked, playfully nudging her in the ribs.  
“Sorry, you should have seen your face” she rubbed my arm, we both drained the rest of our glasses. She took mine and placed it onto of the bin.   
“Try this” I barely had time to register the words before her lips were on mine, her fingers come up to the back of my neck and she was moving me around against the wall. I’m certain she could feel my heart hammering against her, after I got over the initial shock, I responded, and our mouths moved in a perfect harmony. My hand lacing into her curs and pulling her flushed against me. It felt like we were stood there for ages, she pulled back and rest her forehead against mine, both our chest rising and falling quickly. She opened her eyes and looked into mine.  
“I can see why you like it so much” I whispered against her lips, I could taste the drink and cigarettes in my mouth. She let out a shaky breath, a grin spreading on her lips. She placed another kiss on mine before dragging me further down the wall and around the side of the club. It was dark, the faint sound of music hammering the walls, the chat of people around the corner but no prying eyes.   
She was grabbing at me then, lifting my blouse from my skinny jeans, her hands roaming up my stomach, her lips dancing all over my neck. Kissing, biting, sucking. I let my head lean back against the wall and a guttural moan escaped. I kept both arms around the back of her neck before, my head spinning. She lifted me up against the wall and I wrapped my arms around her body loosely. She carried her attack all down my chest before moving her hands to fumble with the button at the top of my jeans. I pushed my hips forward allowing her to pop them open  
“Vanessa, are you sure you want this?” The words registered in my head, but I wasn’t sure I could even talk. I grabbed her hand and looked her in the eyes, lowering it past the waist band and straight into the lacy knickers. I rolled my hips encouraging her to continue. I bit my lip and adjusted myself on the wall. I didn’t know Charity was this strong, but she had no problem keeping me up. I tugged on her hair and brought her in for a deep kiss. She let out a small giggle. “Oh, you definitely want this” she gave out a little moan before quickening her hand, she kept up her movements and before long I was rutting against the wall, my legs quivering and my hips bucking. I let out a long low moan and leant back, I looked down at Charity and she was staring at me, almost in awe. My eyes slipped shut as I came close to the edge, I bucked my hips up one final time, crying out as I came, I dropped my head to her shoulder and worked on my breathing. She peppered small kisses all over my cheek and finally dropped my legs. I immediately pushed her back against the wall, sliding my thigh between her legs and kissing her hard. I bunched her skirt up and pushed her knickers to the side. I moaned at the wetness I found there. The wetness she had for me. I circled her clit a few times before pushing two fingers inside. She cried out and I used my thumb to circle around her clit. She must have been turned on because a few minutes later she was holding my wrist and guiding me in, her head slammed back against the wall and with a low ‘fuckkkkk’ she came. We stood there for a few moments collecting our thoughts before she pulled her skirt down and helped me to do up my trousers. We stayed huddled together for a few moments to recover, she kept whispering things into my ear. I don’t remember returning home that night, but I definitely paid for it the next day.

I woke around noon and stumbled out of bed, heading to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror, my make up was smudged all down my face and my hair was sticking out at every angle. I spotted it then purple blotches all over my neck and chest, I pushed my night shirt further off, they carried on all the way down to my breasts. I started to panic throwing the shirt over my head, my nipples standing to attention red and swollen, with purple dotted all around. I didn’t know how I was going to hide this from my mum or Rhona or anyone! I turned on the shower and forced myself inside scrubbing at my face and hair. I was panicking, I was angry but as I thought about it, I couldn’t help the smirk that came across my face, as I was scrubbing my body, I saw the nude twinge of Charity’s lipstick, I steadied myself against the tiled wall, biting my lip. I had never felt like this in my entire life. I stepped out of the shower and dried off. As I reached my bedroom door, the screech of the house phone started.   
“Vanessa, it’s someone for you” My mother called up the stairs.  
“Tell them I’ll ring them back” She cried, she couldn’t risk going down the stairs and them seeing her.   
She looked around for her mobile phone, but she couldn’t find it. She definitely had it.  
She picked up the phone and dialled 1471. The phone started to ring before it was picked up  
“Aloha Cherub” the cocky voice came from down the line.  
“What have you done to me and where is my phone?” She hissed down the receiver, I settled further down into the bed pushing the duvet over my head.  
“I have your phone babe. I could ask you the same thing. Do you want to meet for breakfast?” she paused. I already knew she was looking at a clock “Lunch” she corrected  
“I look like I’ve been attacked Charity, how am I supposed to hide this from my parents and teachers?”  
“It will be fine. I’ll text you where to meet me” she didn’t even say goodbye before the line went dead. I got up and got ready, luckily, we were in the middle of winter, so the extra layers wouldn’t look odd. I snuck down the stairs, and headed for the living room  
“I left my phone with Rhona yesterday, I’m just going to pop and pick it up. I won’t be long” Mum just waved me off, she was laying on her new boyfriends with a facemask on and cucumbers over my eyes. I lifted two fingers and headed for the door.

I could see Charity already sat in the Café window as I walked in. She waved me over, I kept my head down as I sat opposite her, she pulled at the sides of my scarf. I pushed her off and wrapped the scarf tighter around my neck. She passed over my phone and I stuffed it back in my pocket.  
“A bit of concealer and a scarf you’ll be fine babe” she muttered kicking the table leg, she pushed over some buttered toast and a tea. I looked at her and gave her a weak smile, she winked in return.  
I nibbled at the toast for a while, I didn’t know what to say.  
“Vanessa, Are you ok?” Charity snapped me out of my day dream. I grabbed her hand and pulled her out of her seat, throwing a fiver onto the table, I marched out of the Café.  
“Vanessa. Stop” She started shouting “Where are we going?”  
“I don’t know.” I shrugged but I didn’t stop moving. “We shouldn’t have done what we did Charity. My neck should not look the way it does. What if my mother finds out? She’ll hit the roof” I started to slow down as we walked through the park near to my house.   
“Ok. I’m sorry Vanessa. We were drunk. It won’t happen again. “ She managed to get me to stop walking, stomping her feet a little “Where are we going?”  
“We shouldn’t have done it Charity. I look a mess, my body aches, my head hurts” I screamed as I stopped at the end of my street behind the bushes. Charity’s face looked defeated, she looked at the floor. I stepped closer to her then, hooked two fingers under her chin and lifted her head to look at me  
“But I’ve never felt so good in my life. I can’t think of nothing else” I moved forward and placed a small kiss to her lips, stepping back and looking around. I took her hand again.  
“Mum’s home but do you want to come back to mine?” I bit my lip hoping she would agree.  
“I thought you didn’t want to her to find out?” She nudged my shoulder as she began strolling towards my house. I unlocked the door and headed straight for the stairs, we tiptoed up the stairs and once safely inside the room, we shrugged off her coats and scarfs. I let out an audible gasp as I looked at what I did to Charity’s neck, she lifted her t-shirt over her head to show me the rest of her body and I did the same. I traced some of the marks and saw the scratches at the nape of her neck.   
She turned around and moved closer to me, guiding me back towards the bed.   
“We definitely shouldn’t do it again” she pressed a finger to my chest to punctuate every word, I nodded along until my knees hit the edge of my mattress and I fell backwards, she climbed onto of me and straddle my waist.   
“Are you a hundred percent sure Ness?” I could feel her breath over my lips, I could smell the mint toothpaste and tobacco. My arms went around her back and pulled her closer, our lips crashing together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is by far my fave chapter yet. I'm actually enjoying how this story is going. What do you guys think???
> 
> XOXO


	5. Song 4: Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can they rekindle the romance of 1994?

_:Emmerdale, 2019:_

 

I agreed to take the kids to the diner, thankful my strong-willed nature would help to detain the feelings I’d always had for her. The weeks past and we kept meeting up with the children, it was almost like we became friends. She would come over for dinner and we’d share some wine, or I would head over to the pub when she was on an earlier shift, however we never mentioned about the teenage years. We had agreed at the start, we would start a fresh.  Tracy had come over one Saturday Afternoon. Dad had Johnny and Tracy had one of her pizza and prosecco nights planned in a local bar. Paddy, Chas, Rhona, Pete and I were all going along to support.

“Pearl said she saw you going into The Woolpack Thursday” she said as I poured us some wine in the kitchen.

“It’s the pub Tracy, why do you sound surprised?” I raised my eyebrow in confusion, I will tell Tracy about what happened if I need too.

“Ah V, through the houses front door” she winked

“With Johnny, we went for dinner with Charity and Moses” I shrugged

“What’s the deal with you two?” she was digging for information, just like she always was.

“History. I will tell you when I’m ready to talk about it, Tracy but not now”

“You knew Charity Dingle? Tell me what she was like? Was she a badass back then?”

“No. She was completely different”

“You know she’s been married three times and engaged six!” she rolled her eyes over at me

“Really?” I was quite shocked, we were meeting for the boys, often spoke about our days but never went in to detail. “ Is she with someone now then?” I asked lightly.

“No, been single for a while now. She brought a share of the pub with Chas and I think she’s been focusing on that” Tracy picked up her lipstick and began re-applying in the mirror. I breathed out a huge sigh of relief, which I quickly covered up with a cough. As Tracy turned around to question me , the doorbell rang.

“They’re here. Let’s go!” As I swung open the door. Rhona was stood on the door step whilst the rest started clambering into the minibus. Tracy walked out the house and I locked up as I hoped into the minibus and belted in, I looked up and Charity was smiling at me, I shot a quick smile back before looking down at my hands.

We arrived at the bar and everyone got out, Tracy went ahead to finish setting everything up, there were butlers inside with tray of prosecco and booths around the edge covered in Pizza boxes. It got really busy and everyone had a good time. Rhona and I sat in a booth and must have gone through about two bottles of Prosecco. We were both laughing and joking around, Tracy come over to us and asked if we were up for going to a club afterwards. Leo and Johnny had babysitters for the evening so we both agreed and decided to let our hair down for once. As soon as we arrived at the club we headed straight for the bar, ordering drinks and shots for everyone. The bar was busy, we were in the centre of town on a Saturday night. I glanced over at Charity who was dancing away at the side of the dancefloor. Chas and Rhona had gone to the toilet, Tracy was chatting to some fella at the bar and Pete and Paddy were chatting in the corner. I watched her our eyes meet and she smiled walking towards the table, picking up her drink and downing it. She slid into the booth next to me, the song ‘Rhythm is a dancer’ played in the background.

“This song has definitely been overplayed. That club played at least four times a night” she rolled her eyes before picking up a shot and knocking it back. I watched her intently, carefully choosing my words not wanting to annoy her.

“That it did” I played with my glass, watching the liquid swirl around “I’m surprised you remember”

“I remember a lot of things Vanessa” she squeezed my thigh “Even the dance we did to this song” she was then pulling on my hand and I was on the dancefloor and it was like we had re-winded twenty-four years, I turned around and she grabbed my hips as I grind against her like we always did.

_Rhythm is a dancer_

_It’s a soul companion_

_You can feel it everywhere_

_Lift your hands and voices_

_Free your mind and join us_

She still remembers all the moves, as did I. We carried on for a few more songs, I was a lot older now and couldn’t handle the stuffiness of the dancefloor. I turned in her arms and told her I needed air. I didn’t expect her to follow me, I glanced back to the table, Rhona and Tracy’s mouths wide open, pointing between me and Charity, I waved my hand at them and continued to walk outside. My heart was racing, I stood back against the wall, the cold bricks hitting my shoulders. I smiled and shook my head.

“Here” A voice came from the side of me, I opened my eyes and Charity was holding out a drink.

“Thanks” I took it and took a large gulp. “ That was fun. I can’t believe I remembered them moves”

She looked up at me eyes that seemed softer than before. I felt my stomach clench and my heart tug, pulling me closer to her. In that moment it would have been easy to kiss her, to allow twenty odd years of loss and anger come out. She was staring at me, her eyes flicking between my lips and back up again studying my face, we moved closer to each other. I wanted to and I could tell she did to she took one step forward, her arms beginning to move towards my waist, to dance the dance we’d done a thousand times.

“Vanessa, we need to go Rhona’s too drunk” It snapped us apart and I breathed out a sigh

“Ok Tracy, I’ll be in now” I shouted back, pushing a shaky hand through my hair. It wasn’t right, not really, history shouldn’t be repeating itself.

“I should get going, are you going to come back to the village?” I asked Charity, her head snapped up, she let out a large breath as she silently nodded following me back inside. We left the club and jumped into a cab. I glanced her every now and again, but she stared out of the window the entire time.

Once we got back to Emmerdale. Pete carried Rhona back over to her house. We all said our goodbyes and I told Charity I would probably see her tomorrow, we headed off to our respected homes. As I unlocked the door, letting Tracy stumble inside I looked back at the pub. Charity was sat on the wall outside swinging her feet back and forth, I gave her a small wave and went inside shutting the door. By the time I had shut the door and entered the living room, Tracy was already falling asleep on the sofa, I took the blanket off the back and laid it over her. I walked over to the window to see if Charity was still out, her head was tipped back looking at the sky and a puff of smoke come out. I looked back and Tracy

“Fuck it” I said as I shrugged my warmer coat on and headed for the door. It took literally a minute to reach Charity and I hoisted myself up onto the wall, automatically swinging my feet as well.

“I didn’t know you still smoked” I took the cigarette from her hands and placed it to my mouth taking a small drag and passing it back.

“I didn’t know you could” she laughed before throwing the remainder away.

“I never liked it” I shrugged, I had started for a few years in University, it reminded me of the Saturday nights.

“No. I don’t smoke anymore. I may have one when its been a shit day or I’ve had a fag” she smirked

“It always goes nice with a drink” we both said in unison, we looked at each other and laughed.

“Why did you come back out? It’s freezing out here” Charity asked me.

“I don’t know. I just wasn’t expecting what happened in the club. I knew you remembered who I was, but I didn’t think you remembered as much as I did. I thought I’d started to make most of it up” I shrugged, I really didn’t know why I came out again, something had always pulled me to her.

“I’m glad you came back out and of course I remember. Those Saturdays were some of the best times of my life. It’s funny really, I’m such a ‘the past is in the past, I don’t think about it much’ person but I always think about that” I felt the tears line my eyes, threatening to fall but I quickly blinked them away, I wouldn’t cry in front of her. I just nodded, unable to form the right words.

“I’m going to go back. It’s late and I need to get Johnny in the morning” I gave her arm a quick squeeze before jumping back off the wall, wrapping my coat tighter around me and walking back home

“Stay” I heard her whisper, I looked around and there were tears falling down her cheeks, my heart hurt, and I walked back over to her. She wiped at the tears and looked up at me. I stepped closer to her and hooked two fingers under her chin, I brought my lips to hers and gently pressed them together.

“Goodnight Charity” I said. I wanted to give her a sense of hope, I wasn’t leaving again.

“Goodnight” she said, and a smile was tugging at her lips. She got off the wall and walked with me up the road to the door. She placed a final kiss to my cheek before turning around and walking back towards the pub, I opened the door and headed straight for bed.

 

 

 

 

 

_:Leeds, 1994:_

I thought that day had changed everything. We spent that Sunday Afternoon in bed, we didn’t have sex again, just kissed, cuddled and let our hands wander. We must have fallen asleep because when my alarm went on Monday morning, she was still curled around me. I shook her awake and I got ready for college. We left before Mum had even woke up and she walked me to the bus stop, luckily, we had arrived just before Rhona, we said goodbye and she started to walk over the field, she turned back and waved again before reaching the top of the hill.

“Who’s that?” Rhona questioned from beside me

“No one” I clearly lied which made Rhona laugh.

“Right, so you don’t want to tell me?”

“It’s just a girl I met at one of the Uni Days” I shrugged as the bus pulled up and I had got on.

“That’s was before Christmas, what are you up to Vanessa?”

“Nothing! She’s just a friend, we meet up at the weekends and go to this club” Rhona was my best friend, but I wasn’t sure I could tell her the details, not until I knew more.  She eyed me suspiciously and pulled on my roll neck collar, I swatted her hand away, but it was too late I heard the loud gasp.

“Just a friend aye” she said as the bus reached the college and a few of the girls from our course waited outside.

“Not a word Rhona please” I said as we started to get off the bus. She mimicked zipping her lips shut and stayed true to her word.

I hadn’t really spoke to Charity much that week, she sent one text to ask if I was ok, but I got nothing in return. I wasn’t expecting her to go on Saturday, but I got the text, so I got ready and went to the bus stop for the usual time. I felt a lot more nervous this week, the marks on my neck had started to go but I still opted for a high-necked dress. We got to the club and dance the night away again. I didn’t know why I was nervous. It was like nothing had changed, but there was definitely an elephant in the room that needed discussing. We weren’t as drunk that night, but we still stumbled to the bus stop, our hands loosely joined and swinging between us.

“I’ve been invited to a party next week, someone I know is turning eighteen and they’re renting out a club” I felt a pang of disappointment, we had to miss next Saturday.

“Can you make it?” She asked, and my face broke into a huge smile which I quickly hid “As a plus one?”

“Yeah. It sounds good” I smiled

“It will be a posh thing, so you’ll need to wear an evening dress” I nodded along already planning different outfits in my head.


	6. Song 5: If I want to

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1994, The Tates party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a bit risky adding in the tates now but I think it will work out well for the future of the story and when they meet again.

_:Leeds, 1994:_

I had the day off work on Saturday, I wanted to make sure this evening was perfect. I’d never met any of Charity’s friends before. It was the first time we were going anywhere but the club. I had chosen a deep purple floor length dress, that had a cluster of diamantes in the middle. I’d borrowed a silver pair of mum’s heel and matching clutch bag. I’d spent extra care on my hair, perfecting the curls. My make-up had flecks of purple through-out the eye and a nude lip. Charity had organised a cab to pick me up and take me to the venue. I checked my phone and saw it was nearing seven. I sprayed some perfume and headed down the stairs. Mum was stood at the bottom putting on her shoes for her night out.

“Wow. You look beautiful darling” She said to me. She hardly ever said anything nice so I was a bit taken back by the comment.

“Thank you” I smiled as a car horn beeped outside.

“That’s me. I will probably see you tomorrow” I said

“Not to the afternoon though, I’m staying in a hotel” She called after me. I was kind of glad she wasn’t going to be here when I got home.

I got into the taxi and we went off towards the town, he stopped outside a big club about a mile away from the club we usually went too. There were lots of people queueing outside. I text her to let her know I had arrived, but I saw her with a group of people towards the back of the queue. She stopped talking and started walking towards the cab. She had on a suit, I was expecting her to wear a dress as well, but she looked gorgeous. I swung the door open and started to step out, she ran the rest of the way taking my hand and helping me. She had worn a purple bowtie, that’s why she asked what colour I was wearing.

“You look phenomenal” she whispered to me as we hugged.

“Thank you. You scrub up nicely” I raked my eyes up and down her body.

“Come on. I’ll introduce you to everyone” she pulled on my arm, she stopped after a few steps “V, I can’t be too close in the club like we usually are tonight, but we can head off a bit later and dance together”

I tried to hide my disappointment, this was her event though, so I understood.

“You better” I slapped her arm.

We re-joined the queue, and everyone looked round at me. I felt a blush creep up my cheeks.  


“This is Vanessa I was telling you about.” Charity told everyone “Ness, this is Chas, Cain, Sammy, Lydia and Lucy” I waved at everyone and they all said hello.

“Who’s birthday is it?” I whispered to Charity as we got closer to the front.

“Zoe Tate's. I know her brother Chris Tate. Old friend, there family are super rich” She informed me as we moved closer to the front of the queue.

Once we got inside, I took in my surroundings there  were decorations everywhere, the bar was open, and the place was crowded. Charity took me to the bar and picked up two glasses of champagne. She pointed over to Chris, he was in a wheelchair near the dancefloor.

She sat me down with a few of her friends and said she would be back as soon as she could. I enjoyed her company, so I didn’t mind just watching her. I began talking to Chas, she asked me questions about college, just about my life in general and she talked about Charity told me a few stories from when they were younger. Charity must have been gone an hour when I decided to go to the toilet, I let Chas know and I headed in the direction of the toilets. In the toilets I heard a few girls come in chatting, I listened to what they were saying.

‘A lot of people said she’s only with him for his money. She used to be a right slag, but the family loves her’ I listened to them being horrible about somebody, I wondered who it could be about.

‘She’s not good for anyone, definitely damaged good that one. Who comes to a party and wears a suit, as a woman.’ they both started laughing then, they couldn’t be talking about Charity. I quickly flushed the toilet and swung the door open. They both stopped talking and their heads lowered as I walked out.

I looked around for Charity I wanted to tell her. I wanted to see what was going on. I saw Charity stood with an old couple and Chris, her hand was resting on his shoulder, she crouched down and kissed his cheek ruffling his hair. I felt the tears stinging at my eyes, I turned around and walked towards the club garden, I picked up a few glasses of champagne on the way downing one. I asked a boy for a cigarette as soon as I got outside, he gave me one and lit it for me, I thanked him and sat on a bench nearby.

“How long have I been gone? You either drunk bucket loads or I’m seeing things” Charity laughed behind me taking a seat next to me on the bench. I gritted my teeth, trying to not get emotional

“I'm fine” I replied coldly “You’ve been gone ages by the way”

“Sorry, I had to speak to some of Chris’ family” I rolled my eyes then “Is everything ok V?”

“When was you planning on telling me you were in a relationship?” I snapped

“In a relati... what do you mean?” her voice was wary now, I looked up at her, her mouth hanging open. It’s like she’d seen a ghost.

“If I mean that little, that you didn’t think I deserved to know that information. Thanks very much Charity” I threw the cigarette on the floor and got up, she tried to grab my arm, but I pulled it away.

“Vanessa, wait” she called after me. I stopped in my tracks, I should just keep walking. Fuck her explanation, I deserved better. “ You have this all wrong” she said again. I turned on my heel then to face her taking a few steps towards her, I laughed.

“Please enlighten me Charity, I know what I saw” she got up and moved close to me, rubbing up and down my arms. I shrugged out of her grip.

“It wasn’t what it looked like Ness. It’s complicated” she shrugged

“I’m listening” I hated how thick my voice sounded, how choked up I was becoming. She took a deep breath, straightened her back and moved a step closer. She laughed nervously pushing a hand through her curls.

“I’ve known him a few years, something happened he thought he could be gay. He asked me to help, and he looks after me” she spoke softly.

“How can he be gay? I saw you with your hand on his shoulder, kissing his cheek” I didn’t believe her

“His parents caught him with some boy. They’re very wealthy and if he was to tell the truth he would lose everything. I told him I would help him, act like his girlfriend but then his accident happened, and I couldn’t leave him. He’s been really good to me Vanessa.” She had started wringing her hands together in her.

“Why did you kiss him?” I asked, the story made sense, but she didn’t need to kiss him

“Keeping up appearances babe. We were talking to his nan and grandad, they are obsessed with me” she rolled her eyes with a playful smirk.

I paused for a moment, processing all the information. My heart was hammering, I thought this would be the end. I felt guilty, she hadn’t given me any indication not to trust her. It made me scared that I nearly lost her, I wanted her as hard as this was, I couldn’t imagine losing her from my life, not now.

“And us?” I asked

“Oh, I’ve told him all about you, don’t worry” she smiled

“No I mean, what is this Charity?” I asked again

“I don’t know Vanessa. I don’t know what this is. Things are difficult” she pushed a piece of hair behind my ear and I just nodded, a fresh coat of tears lining my eyes. “I’ve never had these feelings before, I can hear my dad telling me this was a sin. This isn’t normal but you’re very special to me. I have to keep things safe with Chris, I’ve needed break my whole life, I won’t throw it away”

I understood, my mum would hit the roof if she found out. I nodded sharply.

“I’m sorry. I just don’t know what I’m feeling at the moment. It’s fine. I’ll be fine, I’m just being silly” I wiped at my eyes and she reached out to give my arm a squeeze.

“We’ll work something out Vanessa. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I just didn’t find the right time and I didn’t…” she paused, I looked up at her, she was looking up at the sky. The tears rimming her eyes.

“What” I pushed

“I didn’t want to lose you either” her eyes were warm and emotional as they met mine before quickly looking away.

“Let’s go back inside, have a drink” I said as I laced my arms through hers

“Are your feet hurting?” she must have me pushing most of my weight onto her.

“Bloody killing me. As soon as we get inside, they’re coming off!” we laughed. We sat at the bar for hours after that she told me all sorts of stories about what her and Chris got up too, and all about his accident. I laughed along and listened intently but at the back of my mind was still the realisation that we could never be together, as fun as this was it wouldn’t work. She had a totally different life to what I imagined, we were from different worlds. I didn’t know how long this would last for but I knew it would be something I treasured forever.

She left me for a few minutes to say goodbye to some of Chris’ family who were leaving. As she approached the bar again, she didn’t sit down. Come on we are off too.

“Where are we going?” I looked at my watch, it had just gone midnight we never usually went home this early.

“Anywhere but here” she grabbed my arm and picked up my clutch bag leading me out of the club.

“Mum’s away for the night and you promised me a dance! Do you want to come back to mine?” I asked her

“Sure” she flagged down a taxi and we got in, telling him our address we made our way there.

We danced around the living room until stupid o’clock, listening to whatever they were playing on the radio and making our way through two bottles of mum’s white wine. Charity looked at her watch.

“Why don’t you stay?” I whispered seductively in her ear, kissing a line along her shoulder. She downed the rest of her wine glass and placed it on the coffee table.

“I would absolutely love to Vanessa, but I need to get back, Chris’ mum’s expecting me to help with tidying up. The party is finishing in forty-five minute” I tried to hide the look on my face and opted for a small smile.

“No worries. Thank you for coming around and cheering me up”

“Let’s have the last dance Vanessa. The next song that comes on, yeah?”

I nodded along, as we listened to the rest of the news on the radio.

“Ok guys next up we have Celine Dion” the radio cheered out.

_‘Used to be that I believed in something_

_Used to be that I believed in love_

The song made me blush, it probably wasn’t the best idea, but Charity wrapped her arms around my waist, my hands joined around her neck and we began swaying to the music.

 

_If you asked me to_

_I just might change my mind_

_And let you in my life_

_forever_

We carried on dancing around the living room, the drink making us fall into the coffee table, we both laughed and tried to regain our posture. As the next part sang out, she lifted me up and span me around. I squealed at first before I enjoyed it and let myself be twisted around the room. The song was drawing to a close.

_If you asked me to_

_I think you want to ask me what to do_

_just ask me to._

She dropped me back down then and our lips met in a gentle kiss before she pushed back and we both smiled.

“I’ll see you next week” she said as she made her way towards the door, I stayed in the living room, a finger tracing over my lips

“See you next week.” She left closing the door behind her. A couple of seconds later and I heard a light knock, I looked around to see what she had forgotten but as I opened the door, she leant in and kissed me again.

“Thank you” she said before turning around and walking down the street.


	7. Song 6: The Power Of love

_:Emmerdale, 2019:_

I woke the next morning with a little niggle in my head. I was glad I’d drunk a glass of water and some tablets last night or the hangover could have been a lot worse. I got out of bed and wrapped my dressing gown around me. I made my way downstairs and flicked on the lights. I heard shuffling on the sofa and a loud groan

“Morning Trace. Do you want a brew?” I asked

“Go on then” she began to sit up on the sofa pulling the blanket with her.

I flicked the kettle on and go the mugs ready, I picked an apple up from the fruit bowl and began to bite down on it. Once I’d make the teas, I handed Tracy hers and took a seat next to her on the sofa, tucking my legs in and spreading the blanket over the pair of us.

“Did you have a good time?” I asked sipping on my tea before moving it to the coffee table

“Yeah, did you?” she grumbled

“Yeah it was alright”

“Vanessa, I’m dying to know about you and Charity” I rolled my eyes, she wouldn’t stop until I told her.

“If I tell you Tracy, not a word to anyone!” I squeezed her ankle and she gave me a salute

“We met at some open day in 1993 and become friends for about a year. I went to university and I haven’t seen her since.” I shrugged my shoulders, I looked over at Tracy her mouth hanging slightly open.

“Just friends?” she raised her eyebrows

“Well at first but then it progressed onto something else, it was complicated Tracy, but it was years ago, we try not to mention it but that song we danced to in the club, it was on we danced too back then”

“What was happening when I came outside?”

“I just went to get some air and she brought me a drink. She remembers everything as well and I thought she forgot. We haven’t properly spoke about it”

“Don’t you think you should Vanessa!” she lightly swatted at my arm “that CD upstairs, that’s from her isn’t it?”

“How do you know about that?” I frowned

“I saw it the other day, I was looking for a lipstick. It says ‘Love C xx’ I just thought it was an ex but now it makes sense”

I just nodded, not wanting to get upset. I got off the sofa and headed for the stairs.

“Talk to her V” Tracy threw over her shoulder. I went straight to my room and found the CD.

I skipped straight to track 6. The song that was playing when she told me she loved me, the song that played as we first slept together.

 

_The whispers in the morning_

_Of lover sleeping tight_

_Are rolling by like thunder now_

_As I look into your eyes_

I let the tears start to  fall as I lay back on the bed taking myself back to the dingy hotel room

_I hold on to your body_

_and feel each move you make_

_Your voice is warm and tender_

_A love that I could not forsake_

I kept my eyes closed, I knew the chorus was coming up and Charity would scream over the lyrics, so they were correct to our situation

_Cause I’m your lady_

_And you are my man (_ WOMAN) Charity would scream

_Whenever you reach for me_

_I’ll do that I can_

I stopped the track then, I needed closure. I picked my phone off the bedroom side and scrolled for Charity’s name, I typed out a quick text

‘ I want to see you. Alone. I need to talk to you.’

 I pressed send before I could change my mind and tossed my phone onto the bed, before leaving the room to take a shower. I stayed in the shower for a lot longer than necessary. I got out headed back to my room in my towel. I checked my phone and she had text back fifteen minutes ago.

‘I think that’s a good idea. tonight?’

‘mine? 7?’ I texted back.

‘I’ll be there x’ she sent a kiss this time. I didn’t reply, id ask Tracy to take Johnny out this evening. I got dressed and dried my hair before heading to pick Johnny up from my dad’s.

I spent the rest of the afternoon on the sofa with Johnny and Tracy, she had agreed to take him this evening and let me speak to Charity. She left around six thirty and I tidied up the downstairs before pouring myself and Charity a glass of wine and flicking on the telly waiting for her arrival.

Dead on seven, I heard the knock at the door and I answered it and let her inside. She shrugged off her coat and lay it across the back of the sofa and kicked her shoes off before picking up her wine and taking a large sip. She never was nervous coming into my house when we were young and its clear she never grew out of it.

“What did you want to see me about?” she asked as she took a seat on the big armchair.

I took a deep breath then fiddling with a stray piece of wool from my jumper.

“I’m not really sure. I guess I just wanted some closure, I never expected to see you again and then I move into this house, this village that I have worked in for the last five years and we are suddenly out in clubs together!” I looked up at her and she was smiling

“You always did make a mountain out of a mole hill” I felt my eyebrows rise “ I can’t say I’m upset I’ve seen you again. Paddy was always banging on about Vanessa and I didn’t know you. I didn’t want to walk away like a did”

“Why did you? You knew I was going to University and we promised to stay in touch, to see each other at Christmas, but I got nothing but radio silence. I went to Chris’ house, but you’d moved”

“Vanessa you were aiming for great things. I didn’t want to bring you down with me. We were attached to each other and I didn’t want to make it harder for us”

“So I didn’t even deserve being told?” I let the tears fall then, she immediately got up from the armchair and moved over to the sofa, she placed a hand on my knee and wiped my eyes with her sleeve. I pushed her hand away from my face, wiping my own tears like I had done over the last two decades.

“You deserved so much more Vanessa. I really am truly sorry. I thought about you everyday for the last twenty-four years” she pushed a piece of hair behind my ear “ A lot of shit has happened since I knew you Vanessa, I can’t promise that things won’t get rocky, but we live literally two minutes apart and the boys enjoy spending time together, I enjoy spending time with you. I will never be able to apologise enough for what I did” she smiled at me with a warmth in her eyes, she looked up at the ceilings not letting the tears fall.

“You could try” I tried to not let me voice sound so cold. She looked at me, her brows furrowing “You could try apologising”

“I’m sorry” she moved closer, both hands moving to my lap “I am really really sorry Vanessa” she did look generally sorry. I don’t know what came over me then, it wasn’t what I brought her here for but I surged forwarded  crashing our lips together messily, I pushed her further back on the sofa and straddled her waist, kissing her like my life depended on it, her hands grabbed my bum and pulled me further towards her twisting my body into the sofa. I wasn’t thinking about anything else in that moment, I wasn’t thinking about how we shouldn’t be doing this, how she shouldn’t get off the hook this lightly.  I pushed at her chest and broke the kiss.

“I’m sorry” She knelt back in defeat “It’s been a good few years and I’m far too old to be shagging on the sofa” I grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the stair and up to the bedroom.

An hour later and on my way to the third orgasm of the night, I heard the door bang open. I told Charity to shush as I listened for who it was.

“Vanessa?” Tracy called up the stairs.

“Ignore her” Charity whispered in my ear whilst kissing up and down the column of my neck, her fingers still circling my clit slowly

“I can’t what if something wrong with Johnny” I nudged her off and she fell back against the bed with a huff. I picked up my dressing gown and slipped it on, I tried my best to act tired and walked down the stairs.

“Is everything ok? I asked pulling my dressing gown a bit tighter around my body.

“Yeah. Johnny was banging on about his teddy, so I thought I’d pick it up” Tracy moved to the bottom of the stairs “ Did the chat go ok?” She started walking towards me

“Yeah. I’ll get it” I held my hand out to stop her coming any further. I watched her eyes narrow.

“Vanessa, is she up there with you?” she hissed at me

“No. Give me two minutes” I sprinted back up the stairs and into Johnny’s room, finding his favourite teddy and picking it up before giving it to Tracy and walking her towards the door. I pushed some of my hair back, flattening it down a bit.

“Vanessa Woodfield are you lying to me?” she turned around just before the front door

“No, she didn’t stop long. Something about Chas needing her at the pub” I rolled my eyes more at myself for the stupid lie

“Did she leave in a hurry?” Tracy asked

“No, not really”

“Ok” she opened the door and headed outside before turning at the bottom of the garden “she left her coat and shoes” she winked before heading back off towards her house.

I shut the door and leant against it, I didn’t want to think about it much. I didn’t want to start to feel guilty or like I regretted this evening, so I began to climb the stairs before lightly pushing my door open standing in the doorway. The room was lit by the bedside lamp. I flopped back onto the bed and parted with my dressing gown, Charity was immediately at my side again.

“She won’t mind, will she? Tracy?” she asked, I just hooked my hand around her neck and pulled her lips back down to meet mind, in this moment I didn’t care!


	8. Song 7: Hold On

_:Leeds, 1994:_

I wasn’t sure I wanted to go the following Saturday, I had spoke to Charity once in the week, she called to tell me all about something she did with Chris and Chas, telling me about all their plans for over the summer. She had such a good life, never a dull moment by the sound of it. I was being silly but I felt that she had all the fun with or without me, I thought it might be better to get some distance for a while, after everything that happened last week. I was thinking of an excuse I could use, just about to call her, when a message buzzed through…

‘Normal time?’

I was still unsure, I could just tell her I wasn’t feeling too good, but I couldn’t lie to her. I couldn’t drag myself away from her. This week all I had thought about was moving on, getting ready for university and no longer wanting to be with Charity Dingle romantically. Rhona has questioned me all week, harping on about how distracted I was in and out of college. Its true. I spent every lesson running through different scenarios in my head. The one where I would tell her I love her and that I would wait for her and she would kiss me whole-heartedly and the one where she would tell me it was stupid, and we couldn’t be together.

 

As I walked to the bus stop on Saturday Night, my palms were sweaty, and my mouth was dry and when I saw her standing in the shelter, I had to stop the urge to run to her. She was smoking she flicked it to the pavement and ran a shaky hand threw her hair. She was nervous about tonight as well. 

“I know you smoke Charity, you don’t have to put it out every time I come near you when we are sober” I rolled my eyes at her, her head snapped round she hadn’t actually seen me.

“I wasn’t. I didn’t really want it and I didn’t see you” she laughed crossing her arms, before uncrossing them as the bus approached our stop.

We boarded the bus, I was more at ease after our light-hearted exchange. I looked at my watch, my heart had been beating really fast for approximately one hour and forty-five minutes, I slyly tried to take couple of deep breaths, if I kept this up, we would spend our evening in the emergency room.

 

The pub was absolutely heaving when we arrived, it was pay-day weekend and the first bank holiday of the year. The air was thick, and the people were sweaty. The queue for the bar was ridiculous but we still lined up, getting a bottle to take away and a few shots. We stayed at the edge of the dancefloor, our drinks occupying a table to our left. I wasn’t in the mood as much as I usually was, so I knocked back a few wines and soon dragged Charity towards the dancefloor. An hour later, the sweat dripping from my forehead, I felt sick and dizzy and signalled to Charity we needed to move. She led me outside which was just as packed as the inside.

“I think I should leave. I’ve never been very good with crowds” I shrugged my shoulders, not looking her in the eyes “I think I knocked those wines back too quickly” I gave her a weak smile

“Yeah, let me just grab my jacket” she said

“You don’t need to come with me, I can catch the bus back myself”

“I don’t want to leave you” she looked me in the eyes rubbing up and down my shoulder.

As we left the club the air outside was so much cooler, I felt like I could breath properly again. We made our way to the bus stop hoping to catch the midnight bus back. We arrived in good time and sat there talking about something she had seen on a telly programme. I glanced at my watch and it was approaching twelve thirty. I got up to look at the departure screen

“Oh, for fuck sake” I muttered under my breath, Charity heard me.

“What’s up?”

“Planned maintenance. No busses until tomorrow at noon” I kicked the departure stand. ‘

“Oh” was all Charity mustered.

“We’ll have to get a Taxi, there is no way we can walk it” I shrugged looking for a taxi number on the boards. Leeds had around six different taxi services. I called every single one, and the wait was between two and a half and four hours, I gave up, slinging my phone back into my bag and crossing my arms “Fucking hell!” I screamed into the night sky, I looked around and a few people raised their eyebrows at me.

“Ness calm down” Charity piped up from the bench she was strewn across. I raised my eyebrow so high I’m sure it had joined my hairline. I flicked her leg, so she sat up on the bench and I plonked myself down heavily beside her. We sat in silence for a few moments, I could almost hear the cogs turning in both our brains.

“We’ll have to stay in a hotel” she suggested

My heart stopped for a minute and I took a huge breath to get it started again. She looked at me funny and I tried to cover it up with a cough.

“Chris has just got a car, I’ll ask him to pick us up in the morning”

I hesitated, I wasn’t sure it was the best idea. It was the hotel; the two hours walk or this bus shelter.

“It’ll be too expensive?” I questioned

“We’ll get one of the little B&B’s. It won’t cost much more than a taxi.”

I held my breath, still weighing up the options, we weren’t half as drunk as we used to be and sharing a room for the night was risky. We had almost made a silent agreement after last week. We needed to stop what ever this was, for both our hearts sake and our lives. The friendship meant to much to me. I looked back up at her, realising she had been waiting for my answer.

“Okay” I stood up and we made our way over to the little strip of B&B’s.

 

 

 

As we walked into the dimly lit B&B. We stood at the counter, I drummed my fingers against the counter, some song played through the radio filling the silence

 

_Some day somebody’s gonna make you wanna_

_turn around and say goodbye_

_Until then baby are you going to let them_

_Hold you down and make you cry_

I looked up just at the wrong moment, Charity’s eyes were on mine, the lyrics swimming in our heads. I quickly looked away and dinged the reception bell, becoming increasingly more impatient. My heart was still hammering in my chest and my legs felt unstable. I wanted to get up to the room and try to sleep.

 

_Things’ll go your way_

_Hold on for one more day_

My thoughts were interrupted when an older woman arrived at the desk, and when I asked how much it would costs for the night. She looked us both up and down, a smirk tugging at her lips. A shiver ran through my body. She told us we could pay by the hour, if that was all we needed. I felt Charity tense beside me, I held her hand back from slamming on the desk.

“The night will do” I shot her the fakest smile, I wasn’t happy with the remark, but I didn’t need Charity getting us kicked out. She simply nodded and looked into the book.

“We have a twin room for twenty-six or a double for twenty-two” I decided to go with the twin before Charity went for the cheaper option for convenience. I couldn’t deal with the closeness.

We made our way up to the second floor of the hotel. I unlocked the door and stepped inside. There were two single beds in the centre, a dresser, a chair and an old radio stationed on top. It smelt damp and the lights flickered when they were put on. There was a little en-suite which was basic and not very clean. I quickly locked myself inside and took of my makeup, washing my face and tying my hair back. I flicked off the light and opened and Charity was waiting outside, I stepped aside, and she used the bathroom. I used the time she was gone to strip off my clothes, leaving me in my underwear and slipping into the bed. The bed was relatively comfy, but the sheets were slightly scratchy. I heard the toilet flush and she re-entered the room, getting into her bed and flicking out the lamp as she did so.

“Goodnight” I heard her whisper into the cold air around us

“Night” I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping for sleep to overcome me. I felt the panic starting to rise again, like it had all night. I moved onto my side and focused on my breathing. In through the nose, out through the mouth. I don’t remember how long I had been lost in my thoughts. Always coming back to Charity, how we danced around the living room last week, how she took me against the side of the club weeks previous. I could feel my arousal between myself and I had to fight back a little grunt. I glanced over my shoulder. It would be easy to get into the bed with her, but I needed to respect her wishes, we have to be careful with her future. I looked back towards the window and lay looking through a hole in the curtains.

I heard her sheets rustle, I didn’t want to turn around, she would be turning over or using the bathroom. There was a sudden warmth behind me. I froze. I could feel her bare legs against mine, her hand gently wrapping around my waist. I didn’t dare move. I heard her swallow the lump in her throat.

“Tell me to go and I’ll go” she whispered nudging my hair away from my ear with her nose. Her voice was thick, she’d almost choked the words out. I knew I should ask her to go but I couldn’t form the sentence, she began to move her hands, stroking my stomach and I felt butterflies almost burst into life. She caressed up and down, whilst drinking in my smell. I bit my lip, I didn’t want to make a noise. I wanted her so badly, I wanted to turn around and pull her to me, fuck her until we could barely stand. My heart clenched, I didn’t want to put myself in a position where I could get hurt.

 

She must have had a confidence rush through her, as she let her hand creeped lower and I turned onto my back, still not daring to look at her. My hips bucked beneath her hand and I let my eyes flutter close. She pulled at the waistband of my underwear, my breath catching in my throat.

“Tell you want me to stop. Tell me you don’t want this Vanessa”

After a long pause, she slipped her hand underneath. She had won. I knew it was a loosing battle. She dipped her a finger into my dripping wet heat, causing me to arch into her touch, a bitten back whimper escaping my lips. I shuddered lightly as I felt a kiss placed to my shoulder, she had propped herself up on her hand as she continued to lightly stroke up and down my wet folds. She carried on placing kisses all over my neck and shoulder before taking my earlobe in between her teeth and tugging gently.

“ I think I love you” my eyes snapped open, she didn’t stop her movements, but she had let go of my ear and let out a massive sigh. I opened my eyes and looked up at her, the tears stung at her eyes. She bit back a sob and dropped her head back to my chest. I brought my hand up to lift her head, wiping away the wet tears that had spilled down her cheek, gently caressing her face. I moved the hair out of her face, and she looked at me then. I placed a gentle kiss to her lips before pulling up and locking eyes.

“I mean, I don’t know but I’ve never felt this way in my entire life”


	9. Song 8: Time After Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emmerdale 2019. The morning after they sleep together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG HI! Remember me? I'm super sorry for the lack of updates. I have been trying to write a chapter for at least a week and a half but I lost my way! I wasn't sure I liked it, still unsire. I had so many hopes and plans for my story, that I still have but unsure if they are all going to come together! I will continue to write if you are enjoying it!   
> Let me know in the comments if you are! Its good motivation!
> 
> Enjoy the chapter and i will speak to you soon!

_:Emmerdale, 2019:_

 

When I woke the next day, I felt the ache through-out my body as I stretched. I pushed my arm backwards hoping to find Charity next to me, but when I felt the empty bed, I let out a heavy sigh. I don’t know why I thought this would be different, why I thought she would stay. I got up and wrapped my dressing gown around my naked body. I was due in work at ten, so I knew I just had to get up and face the day. If she didn’t have the decency to say goodbye after last night. Fuck Charity Dingle, once and for all. I made my way straight into the bathroom, washed my face, tied my hair into a ponytail and applied my basic makeup before heading downstairs in my dressing gown to get some coffee before getting dressed and heading to the surgery.

I walked down the stairs, grumbling to myself. I didn’t want to let myself get so wound up about Charity, but I couldn’t help it, there could be a reasonable explanation for her leaving. As I got to the edge of the stairs, I walked straight towards the kettle and flicked it on, it was still warm! The cheeky cow even made herself a brew before leaving. I heard a cough from the sofa and jumped in the air before turning around and seeing Charity looking sheepish curled up with a blanket.

“Jesus Christ on a bike!” I screeched which was met with a laugh. I tried to keep a straight face as Charity made her way over to me, crossing my arms as she got close.

“I thought you had run out on me” I shrugged before turning to the fridge to hide the smile on my face, and to get the milk.

“Not a chance babe, early riser. I find it hard to stay in bed once I’m awake” She shrugged before leaning against the table

“Hmm” I mumbled back, finishing making my coffee, throwing the spoon in the sink and leaning back against the counter.

“I mean I wasn’t surprised. That’s my jumper by the way” She had stayed, I don’t know why I was putting this guard up.

“I couldn’t find my top in the dark” she shrugged again before placing a gentle kiss on my cheek “Look, I don’t want you to feel awkward about this Vanessa, we can take things slowly or I understand if you want to forget it happened” I looked up at her over my mug and could see pain almost shoot through her eyes.

“No, I’m sorry. I just got a bit agitated you had left. I’m glad you stayed” I gave her a warm smile as she pushed herself off the edge of the table and hovered above me.

“Good” was all she replied before crashing our lips together, taking the mug from my hand and twisting me onto the dining room table.

An hour later, I ran down the stairs.

“I’m late again! Rhona is going to have my head!” I shouted at Charity

“Sorry babe. We still on for the boy’s dinner tonight?” Charity walked out of the kitchen in Vanessa’s dressing gown nursing another brew.

“Yes. I will meet you at the pub” I threw over my shoulder as I slammed the front door and headed to work.

I managed to run in just in time, but it didn’t stop the stares from Paddy and Rhona.

“ I know, sorry I need to invest in a new alarm” I rolled my eyes as I put my bag and coat away before slipping into my overalls and looking through the call-outs I had that day. They were relatively easy, and I would hopefully be finished by four.

Several texts had come through from Charity about general day to day things. I wasn’t expecting her to be so needy, however I wasn’t complaining. As I drove back into the village, I thought about how I wanted this to pan out. I know I shouldn’t have jumped straight back in to bed with her, but she was just so irresistible. We still had a lot of talking and catching up to do. I thought back to what Charity said this morning about taking things slow. I definitely think it’s the best way forward. I knew I would let it play on my mind to much, just like I did as a teenager. As I pulled back into the surgery, I spotted Tracy walking over with Johnny. I shut the door to my beetle and waved over. Before heading into the surgery to leave for the day.

“Shall we get this one home? Have a little catch up?” Tracy asked following me into the surgery.

“Ok. We only have an hour, we’re having dinner with Charity and Moses” I looked at the expression on Tracy’s face “ We always have dinner on a Monday, nothing fishy Tracy” I quickly shut her down.

We left the surgery and headed for Tug Ghyll. Tracy made a brew whilst I sat Johnny in front of cartoons. I hung up our coats and plonked myself down at the dining table, smirking at the events that happened here this morning.

“Vanessa, you are going to be careful, aren’t you?” Tracy set the tea down in front of me and I instantly wrapped my hands around it.

“Of course” I sighed

“Ok… Are we going to spill?”

“There isn’t much to spill. We talked about the past, it’s a big thing Tracy and she was being sweet. We kissed, she stayed over, I woke up this morning and she wasn’t in bed”

“You are honestly going for dinner with this woman? Cut her off V, she is no good!” Tracy butted in

“If you let me finish, I came downstairs, and she was on the sofa. We aren’t suddenly going to become a couple. I still have lots to get my head round”

We carried on chatting until it was time to head for dinner. I got Johnny’s coat on and we said goodbye to Tracy before heading over to the pub. I walked straight through the front door, something we had started doing. Moses jumped up and ran over to Johnny as I put him down and they began playing in the living room.

I stayed in the hallway to hang up our coats and control my breathing before entering the living room, watching the boys play with cars on the floor and Charity stood at the stove cooking whatever dish we would have this evening.

She turned around a gave me the warmest smile. I smiled and headed over to her, placing a hand on her back, rubbing lightly.

“Hey. You ok?” I asked

“Good babe, you?”

“Yeah” she reached round a placed a kiss to my cheek before turning her attention back to the dinner.

“I’m just about to dish up” I nodded and moved to get the boys hand washed and at the table. We ate the pasta and meatballs that Charity had cooked, Noah had joined us making small talk about our days and listening to the boys babbling on about Nursery and Cartoons. It felt strangely domestic. I still didn’t know where we would go from here, where I wanted to go from here.

 

After dinner and ice cream, Noah offered to take Johnny and Moses upstairs to play, the new Mario Kart he had got for Christmas and I started to clear away the dishes, whilst Charity filled the sink. I flicked on the radio behind me and let the soft sounds fill the room.

 

_Then you say, go slow_

_I fall behind_

_The second hand unwinds_

It was another song we used to listen too. I fell in love with the song, my eyes flicked over to Charity as a smile tugged at her lips, I fell in love with this woman.

 

_If you’re lost, you can look, and you will find me_

_Time after time_

_If you fall, I will catch you, I will be waiting_

_Time after time_

She bumped my hip as she had her hands in the sink and I dried up.

“You loved this one”

“It always been a goldie” I replied

She took her hands from the sink, taking my tea towel and drying her hands before grabbing my waist and spinning me around the kitchen, I let out a giggle as she placed me back down and we carried on swaying.

“I mean I think its fate” she said into my shoulder

“What do you mean?” I looked up at her furrowing my eyebrows

“I was lost the first time and I found you. I was lost again, and I’ve found you. Time after time”

I’m pretty sure my heart stopped beating for a minute. I held onto her shoulders and brought her closer to me. We shared a few kisses before we heard a cough from the living room door. I immediately blushed before I’d even turned around. One of the kids had spotted us already and we were going to have to explain whatever this was. We sprung apart and I brought a hand up to my lips, showing a weak smile.

“Chas?” Charity asked

“Sorry to interrupt.” she rolled her eyes and was smirking at us both “Charity can you cover the close shift tomorrow and I’ll do the early. Paddy wants to do something together in the evening”

“OK” Charity shouted

“No back chat?” Chas questioned

“No back chat” Charity replied sticking out her tongue to Chas.

Chas left the room and I put my head in my hands.

“We have to be careful, that could have been one of the boys” I said to Charity

“I know” she rubbed my arm affectionately

“Look I need to get Johnny back and bathed” she nodded along with what I was saying, she looked sad. “Shall we go out somewhere this weekend?”

“Are you asking me on a date Vanessa?”

“I think so” I shrugged

“I’ll look forward to it” A final kiss was shared, and I called Johnny down and we headed home.

A few hours had passed, and a comment kept swimming around my head. I pulled out my phone and found Charity’s name.

‘ _What did you mean you was lost again?’_

Seconds later and my phone beeped again.

_‘What do you mean?’_

_‘ Earlier. In the kitchen you said you was lost but you found me again’_

_‘I’ve always been lost Vanessa’_

_‘Why?’_

_‘ I don’t know’_

_‘Ok’_

_‘Vanessa’_

_‘What?’_

_‘Its always been you. Night x’_

_‘Goodnight Charity x’_

I put my phone on the bedside table and slipped further under the covers. I was going to take her into Hotten on Friday. I wanted to get to know who Charity had become.


	10. It'll all be OK in the end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the love on the previous chapter! I like this one, let me know what you guys think too!

_:Leeds, 1994:_

In that moment, she looked so beautiful but so scared and vulnerable. This confession brought so many complications to both our lives. I was willing to take the risk.

I brought a hand up to caress her cheek, wiping away the tears as my own came tumbling down. I moved her hair from her eyes. Our lips found each other almost by nature, locking together as I finally gave in, allowing myself to feel, allowing myself to let go. Her fingers retreated from my underwear instead reaching up to tangle in my hair. It was raw and passionate, the intensity of our emotions pouring into each kiss. It felt different than before, the kisses became hungrier and deeper as our legs locked and our arms somehow found away to pull each other closer, our hips colliding, rutting against each other as we greedily nipped at each other’s lips. Our underwear was soon discarded and thrown in any direction. I grasped her arse tightly, my nails digging into the flesh, I used it as an advantage to flip her onto her back. straddling her as the moonlight lit up her naked body. I paused, raking my eyes up and down her body and heaving chest as she gazed up at me, eye dark and twinkling, cheeks flushed, and lips swollen.

“I love you” I breathed out, I was surprised at my own words, but I realised that there was no question of how I felt towards her. I may have thought it was lust and admiration before, but now I was certain, I had fallen in love with my best friend.

 

I leant down to kiss her again, to feel the addictive warmth of her lips against mine before slowly making my way down her neck, leaving a trail of wet, open mouthed kisses until I reached her nipple, swirling it around with my tongue before taking it in my mouth. She arched beneath me, breaths coming quick as small whimper escaped her lips, I grinned in satisfaction as I grazed my teeth over the tip before letting it go with a small pop, I did the same to the opposite before placing soft kisses all down her stomach, settling between her thighs. I intertwined our fingers, glancing up at her, my mouth watering with the desire to taste her for the first time. I kissed a trail along her hips and thighs, she squirmed and bucked beneath me, squeezing my hand tighter.

 

“Please, Ness” she whimpered, her hips lifting as if to guide me to where she needed me most. She exhaled sharply as the tip of my tongue finally met with her slick heat, tasting the flavour that could only be described as _her_ , sending my head spinning. I could hear her breaths becoming more erratic as I worked her up, her deep groans filling the air, as she threw one arm over her eyes, arching her back and panting as she slung her leg over my shoulder. Over and over she whispered my name as I circled her clit with the tip of my tongue.

_“Fuckkk”_

 

Her breath caught in her throat as I flicked back and forth, her hips bucking against my mouth and thighs clenched around the back of my head. I continued my movements, relishing in the sound of her losing control beneath me, breath becoming faster and deeper and moans becoming strangled and tight. I worked my tongue faster and faster, the taste of her becoming  committed to my memory forever along with the delicious sounds and scent of her arousal hitting my senses.

 

Then, just as I thought I couldn’t keep my rhythm up, and I started to become tired, she came, the sound piercing through me as she became undone. Our hands never untangled, gripping tightly as she lost function of her limbs, her whole-body trembling and relaxing. She tugged on my shoulder, pulling me back up to her mouth and capturing me in a long, deep kiss, tasting herself on my tongue as we collided together. I pressed myself against her, our bare chest coming together, sticky from the events that had just occurred until eventually we slowed, instead resting my head against hers, fitted together perfectly as exhaustion washed over me and my eyelids began to droop.

“I’m sorry” she whispered after a long comfortable silence “about before. For being so afraid”

“Don’t be” I replied quickly, squeezing her hand tighter, still entangled with mine “I’m scared too”

She looked down at me, eyes wide and watery “ I wished things could be different” she sighed placing a soft kiss to the top of my head. “ This feels like the most natural thing in the world to me, like everything’s found a place. I don’t understand…” she trailed off.

I pressed a kiss to her chest “I know. I read something once saying It’ll all be ok in the end, if its not ok, it’s not the end” I repeated my favourite quote, one I lived by through my childhood.

She smiled at me “I like that” she stated before snuggling down and shutting her eyes. I watched her as she slipped into slumber, before resting my head against her chest and closing my eyes. I fell asleep soon after, sticky limbs still intertwined . We were doing this. We had given into our desires and to me this meant the world.

 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After that we continued to rent the B&B each week, opting for the double room, I told mum I was staying at Charity’s, who had begun to make an appearance around the house a lot more. We kept the relationship from my mother, but I told Rhona, one afternoon, me and Charity had an argument, I had a face like a wet weekend in Scarborough. I thought we was over, and I ‘came out’  to her, however I had received an apology from Charity, and all was well again. She eventually met Charity and they are civil as they can be.

Charity had told me she was starting a course at the college, which meant I would see her more. Chris had persuaded her to do a business thing to help run his family’s business in the end. I met Chris and all his family properly. Zoe was a few years older and training to become a Vet, so we had a lot in common.

I often regarded this time as the best of my life. I was so happy and content. Both of us entirely wrapped up in one another and stupidly in love. We made a pact that first night that from then on, we would be completely honest about everything. We still went out every Saturday as ‘just us’ time. It was still hard to keep being together a secret, not showing any PDA around college and at home, the dangers of being exposed but our friends were happy for us and so supportive of our decisions. We had made our own kind of perfect.

That wasn’t to say she didn’t drive me up the wall every now and then…

 

 

Me, Rhona, Pete and Paddy sat at a table in the courtyard of the college, studying for the fast-approaching exams. I saw Charity with a group from her course, she clocked me and waved off her friends before jogging over and perching on the edge of the table. We often studied in our free period and Charity joined us, she had really taken interest in her course so often pulled work out of her bag and worked on it herself.

 

_Click. Click. Click._

I glanced up from my studies and glared at her as she played a tune with her pen, she smirked at me and winked before nudging my leg with her foot. I shot her evil eyes and carried on working. I was already getting flustered and I could tell she was trying to wind me up.

_Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click._

I glanced up again, she had put the tip of the pen in her mouth and swirled it around, making herself appear to be thinking. I tried my hardest to look away, but it had begun to turn me on. The images of us flashing through my mind. It was a bloody pen.

I slammed my hands down on the wooden bench

“For Christ sake Stop clicking that fucking pen” I yelled, everyone staring up at me, Charity face feigning innocence.

“Woah buttercup chill your boots” there was that smirk again. I ground my teeth and began to pack up my stuff, shoving it into my backpack before turning away and darting away, I walked around the courtyard trying to calm myself, but my heart was beating out my chest. I rushed towards the block of toilets, bursting through the door, flinging my bag into the empty cubicle, before I could get inside a hand had snaked around my waist and whispering up into my ear “Let me make it up to you”

Before pulling us both inside and locking the door. If I had thought I was aroused before, then god knows what I was feeling in this moment. My sex throbbed through my jeans and my breaths were heavy. I didn’t respond to Charity I just shoved her hand down the waistband of my jeans, lifting my foot on top of the seat. She pulled at my hips and slipped her fingers further inside.

She moved my hair off my shoulders and breathed in my ear “Tell me”

I swallowed hard, my hips bucking “Please. Just fuck me. Please”

Her lips connected with my neck and I felt her smile against them, she slipped a single finger inside of me “Like this?” she quizzed

“More” I whimpered bucking my hips to meet her hand. She began to move her hand away from my knickers and I groaned, searching for some friction. She unbuttoned my trousers and pulled them down, her hand quickly returning. I moaned in satisfaction.

“You need to be quiet Vanessa” I moaned quieter this time “I’ll stop”

I nodded urgently “please” I whispered

I felt her breath deeply into my neck as she began to move her hands back and forth over my front, cupping my sex and prodding at the heat. She let out a sigh.

“How much do you want me?”

“So much” I breathed out, rolling my hips to grind against her hand.

“Tell me” she said again. I just groaned.

“Were you coming in here to touch yourself?” I nodded sharply letting out a little whimper.

I grabbed at her hand and pushed it more forcefully between my swollen wet heat

“I need you Charity” my head slammed back against the door as I pushed my hips out as far as they would go.

“Oh god! Oh Fuck!” I squeezed my eyes shut.

“Shh” she hissed. I bit down onto my lips, almost drawing blood. Her cool fingers traced my clit, her thigh placed expertly between mine to prevent me from collapsing to the floor and I bit down against my cheek, grinding against her hand, feeling my release build up inside of me. She held me up, curling her fingers, instantly reaching my g-spot. She continued harder and faster until I screamed out, which she managed to muffle by clasping her hand over my mouth, as my orgasm tore through me She rode through it with me, still slowly pumping her fingers in and out until I went limps in her arms, she held me as I let my head rest on her shoulder trying to catch my breath. She rubbed my back before helping me pull up my underwear and jeans

“Better?” she murmured, a wicked glint in her eye

“For now” I nodded slowly, grabbing her face and kissing her wholly. I bent down a slung my bag back over my shoulder.

“I love you” I kissed her a final time before locking the door “wait five minutes and then come out just in case”

“I love you too” she smiled at me as I left the toilets with the biggest smile on my face.


	11. Song 9: I'll make love to you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emmerdale 2019, Valentine's Day!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted to get this up on Valentines Day but apparently I can't stick to schedule!!   
> Thanks for all your lovely comments, please keep them coming!!
> 
>  
> 
> XO

_:Emmerdale, 2019:_

Over the next few weeks, me and Charity continued to see each other as much as possible, with and without the boys. Apart from Chas and Tracy, we had decided to keep it a secret, sneaking around after dark and heading out of the village for dates.

Moses had gone to stay with Ross, Noah was staying with Sam and Johnny was with my dad. I’d suggested a quiet night in, but something had been bothering Charity and she wanted to go out for a few drinks in Leeds. I was happy to oblige, as we walked along the high street, she stopped outside the Primark pointing over to it. I looked up and looked back at Charity

“It’s closed. I didn’t take you for a Primark girl anyway” I laughed

 “Excuse me! I love a bargain. This is where the club was”, I studied the place some more, cocking my head to the side.

“Oh My! I didn’t even notice” I finally clicked on. I came back a few years later and it had shut down.

We went to a near by club an went inside, dancing the night away just like we used too. We hadn’t drunk as much as we used too but we still stumbled home in the early hours. I  asked her to stay at mine. Hours later and we were wrapped in the sheets, my head resting on her chest, she had linked our fingers over the covers, and we sat up until the early hours. She had told me she had reconnected with Debbie, she told me stories about Noah and Moses. She had told me about a rough patch she had just after she moved out with Chris. I was shocked to find out what had happened, but it made sense why she had cut our relationship off, I just wish I could have helped her during that time, I wished she could have relied on me.

I was surprised to hear she had married Chris, but she claimed, he was the bestest friend she ever had, and they wanted to keep his family happy. Noah wasn’t planned but they had got drunk on evening and the next thing she knew she was pregnant, and Chris’s mum was over the moon.

“So did things end badly?”

“He ended killing himself, in his note he told his family about being gay. It broke my heart”

“Oh. That’s so sad. What happened to you?”

“I did a prison sentence for murder”

My head shot up off her chest before I saw the pain in her eyes and lowered back down.

“What do you mean?”

“Zoe blamed me, somehow managed to frame me. I didn’t do it Ness, I swear” I saw the vulnerability in her eyes, and I placed a kiss to her cheek and wiped the tears that began to fall.

“I believe you Charity”

We fell asleep that night gripping each other a bit tighter. The more time we spent together, the more I was falling for her all over again. We still had anxiety around becoming official, but it was getting better.

 

 

A few weeks later, Charity had decided to take Noah and Moses away, she had mentioned it as a  passing comment, but it still had pissed me off. I didn’t know how long she had gone for. She had sent me a few text and pictures over the last couple of days. I was almost looking forward to Valentine’s Day this year, it was stupid. I hadn’t celebrated it before, but I thought it would be different with Charity, but she’d buggered off somewhere hotter.

On February 14th, I took Johnny to nursery. They were doing lots of Valentines activities and I had brought him so chocolates for after his tea tonight. I stopped in the Café and picked up three coffees and three love heart biscuits for Rhona and Paddy. I made my way to work and sat behind the desk, making a start on the emails and appointments for the day. Around eleven, a florist van pulled up and carried in the biggest bouquet of yellow and red roses I had ever seen.

“They for Rhona Goskirk?” I asked the delivery woman.

“No. I have a Vanessa Woodfield” she replied looking at her sheet of paper.

My eyes widened as did my smile.

“Oh” I tried to wipe the smile off my face and school a more puzzled expression “That’s me. Thank you”

“Happy Valentine’s Day” she replied with a smile before heading out the door. I took the large bunch of roses and turned around. Paddy and Rhona both had eyebrows  that reached the ceiling.

“It might had been my dad from Johnny or something” I shrugged looking for the card, but Rhona had already snatched it from the top. “Rhona don’t” I moaned

She had opened it up and there was a little bear on the front holding a heart.

“Sorry I couldn’t be with you today, can we meet tonight and will certainly be making it up to you. Love Always X’ Rhona looked at me and let out a little squeal “How long have you been keeping this fella secret Vanessa?”

I snatched the card back and smiled

“It’s not a secret” I shrugged again

“We didn’t know about it. So come on who is he?” Paddy giggled

“It’s not a he! You’re not finding out either!” I shouted back, and I watched Paddy start to blush before pointing back to the back room and heading back to work.

I pulled out my phone and sent Charity a text

‘ Your back then? Where? What time?’

‘I’m heading home now I didn’t want to miss Valentine’s Day. I should be ready for about 7ish? Meet me at the little summer house up near Moira’s’ the reply came away almost instantly

‘I look forward to it. Thank you. They’re beautiful’ I replied

‘Just like you. I need to go babe. Phone has to go on Aeroplane mode. See you tonight. Can’t wait x’

I got on with the rest of my day, wanting to finish as early as possible and get pampered for tonight. Tracy had agreed to take Johnny for me. As I got ready, I kept looking out the window over to the pub for any sign of Charity, I saw Noah get Moses out of a taxi, but Charity never got out. Marlon had left the pub with his hands full of different bags, he had taken two trips before looking around and driving off. I’d never felt this nervous before a date before, but I couldn’t wait to see Charity. As I flattened down my dress and adjust my curls, my phone beeped.

‘Change of plan babe. Don’t walk up here, Marlon will come get you’

I was thankful to hear I didn’t have to walk. All those bags Marlon must have been carrying earlier must have been to take to Charity. It was nearing seven and I walked down the stairs. Tracy had brought Leyla over and they were both staying here to have dinner with Johnny before I asked them to head over to Tracy’s for the night. Tracy had agreed with a stupid wink.

I was met with wolf whistles as I joined them in the kitchen and Johnny turned from the sofa and shouted ‘pretty mummy’ I smiled down and kissed his head reaching for my leather jacket, I slipped my arms through.

“Who’s your fancy date then?” Leyla asked from the kitchen

“No one” I simply said before hearing the car horn beep. I grabbed my bag, and the gifts I had brought for Charity last minute and headed for the door shouting a goodbye over my shoulder. As I opened the car door, I looked back towards the house and saw Leyla poking her head through the curtains.

We took the short drive up to the summer house whilst Marlon and I made small talk. He dropped me off at the side of the entrance and told me to enjoy, I thanked him before taking a couple of deep breaths and walking around the front. There were heart shaped fairy lights draped all across the porch, rose petals and confetti. Charity sat in one of the chairs with a glass of wine in her hand. She was wearing a black lace dress, it hugged her figure perfectly and she was sporting a nice tan, her hair was curled as always, and she wore a bright red lipstick. She smiled as soon as she saw me and stood up, straightening her dress out.

“Wow. You look amazing” she complimented me

“Thank you, so do you” I reached up to give her a kiss before passing her flowers and gift.

“Thanks babe” she took the flowers before leading me inside “I’m really nervous for some reason”

“Me too. Thanks for the flowers, even if it did strike twenty-one questions”

“Sorry babe. I wanted to get you something nice, I did try to keep it discreet”

“I didn’t mind”

She led me to a small table in the corner of the shed, it was lit with candles and the food was already plated.

“Marlon did the food”

“I gathered. How did you know about this place? Or even have any time to arrange it all?”

“Friends in high places” she tapped the side of her nose.

“I love it” I kissed her again before taking my seat and starting the meal.

After we had finished eating and Charity had told me all about her time away with the boys, and I told her the boring village gossip.

“I’ve got some strawberries and chocolate over there. The TV has the Titanic film”

I got up and took her hand, leading her over to the mountain of blankets and pillows on the floor. Charity picked up a small bag on the way.

“I got you another gift, nothing fancy” she said before handing over the bag

“Are you going to open yours as well?” I asked

She had brought me a beautiful necklace it was a small heart locket with a picture of herself and Johnny inside. I asked her to put it on straight away before thanking her with a few kisses. She opened the gift from me, it was a small charm bracelet with the birthstones of her children and a little love heart from me. We thanked each other before snuggling down and turning on the film, it was just background noise really as we kissed, and let our hands wander.

“Charity?” I broke off the kiss

“Yes babe”

“When are we going to tell people? I mean I’m happy to wait, I just wondered how you was feeling about everything?”

“Look Vanessa, I don’t want to mess this up and I’ve really enjoyed learning you again these last few months. I would like to tell my children properly first and then we can tell who we like”

“Ok” I squealed, leaning forwards and connecting our lips again “ So are you like my proper girlfriend now?”

“I don’t know. Are you asking me to be your girlfriend?”

“I think I am” I smirked

“Of course.” we kissed again but before it could get heated, I asked Charity to stay over at mine. We tidied up some of the bits and blew all the candles out. Charity said she would deal with the rest tomorrow. We made the short walk hand in hand back to Tug Ghyll. We continued through the house and up the stairs, it wasn’t rushed this time. As we walked into the bedroom, I noticed the CD player left on the bed, before I could swipe it up, Charity had clocked it.

“No way! Do you still have this babe?”

“Charity” I pleaded, wringing my hands nervously. She jumped backwards on the bed before placing one headphone in, she ran her hands over the note she had taped to the front before tapping the bed beside her and lifting a headphone up to me. She clicked play and skipped to the next song, placing the player between us and propping herself up on her elbow. I closed my eyes and listened to the song starting up

“This is so special Ness. You’re so special” she placed my hand over her heart as the chorus of the song began

_I’ll make love to you_

_Like you want me to_

_And I’ll hold you tight_

_Baby all through the night_

Charity softly hummed the words into my ear before nudging my face to turn towards her, she could see the tears in my eyes as she reached up and placed a gentle kiss to my lips, we continued to kiss through the song before I rose off the bed and straddled her hips.

“I love you Charity Dingle” I crashed our lips back together, but she pushed me back slightly, she looked a little shocked “ I always have”

This time she kissed me back.


	12. It's raining men!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I put too much pressure to get chapters out as quick as possible which the makes me procrastinate. I'm aiming to get some sort of schedule in my head. Maybe 1 or 2 chapters a week... 
> 
> Let me know what you're thinking so far! Thanks for your patience, kudos and lovely comments xo

_:Bournemouth, 1994:_

I watched as the countryside faded behind me as we joined the motorway, I let out a content sigh as the sun beat down and the soft music filled the car. Exams were over. College was finished and summer had most definitely just begun. It’s strange how everything changed quite fast. Mine and Charity’s friend all got on and we quickly became a big group. We had organised a weekend away to Bournemouth. Charity and I shared the car with Chris and Michael. Pete, Rhona, Paddy and Jessica all travelled in Pete’s car. We originally thought about camping but had decided on a hotel would suit Chris better.

As we drove down the M25, I thought about what I wished for this summer. A trip to the beach, endless BBQ’s, good friends and Charity. I knew this weekend would fulfil all these dreams.  I grabbed Charity’s hand and she looked over with a smile. The whole university situation had gone unspoken, we were determined to make good memories for the time being. I looked through to the front of the car and watched Chris and Michael’s exchanges. Michael had rested his hand on Chris’ thigh, and they were laughing about something. It was nice Chris felt comfortable around us, he could be who he truly wanted to be. I was planning for this weekend to be special, we still had a few weeks left, I knew we would still see each other on the holidays but it would be different from seeing each other almost every day.

 

 

We arrived in Bournemouth, after stopping off at a service station and the traffic being ok it took a little over six hours. We pulled into the hotel parking lot, it was close to the beach and it looked really modern. Chris had booked us all in to the top floor of the hotel. It was like a   penthouse. There was five bedrooms with en-suites, a jacuzzi bath, kitchen and a huge living area. We all picked a room. Paddy and Jessica took one each, Pete and Rhona, Chris and Michael, and Charity and I shared. We all decided to settle in before heading out for the evening. I had never been out with a group of people before, it was always just me and Charity and we always went to the same place.

 

“This is amazing. We only paid £25 each, it must have cost a lot more than this” I said to Charity as I unpacked my small suitcase. Charity was already lying across the bed awkwardly, her head hanging over the edge, watching me upside down.

“He wanted it to be really special. For all of us. I knew he had booked it, but I wanted it to be a surprise”

“Well I am excited! For a whole weekend of Sun, Sea and “ I paused, moving to kneel in front of Charity, my lips hovering over hers “quality time with my favourite people” I let out a squeal as Charity grabbed my shoulders and flipped in onto the bed beginning to tickle me.

“Stop Charity. Stop” I gasped out, trying to wiggle from her grip.

“What was you meant to say Vanessa” she continued

“S..Se…Se…Sex” I managed to get out

“Who with?” She raised her eyebrow. It took all my strength to push back and she finally flopped onto the bed beside me.

“Pull a trick like that again and it won’t be you” I folded my arms, trying to regain some of my breath.

She let out a loud laugh before snaking her arms around my waist and kissing the back of my neck up to my ear. I wasn’t expecting an apology, I didn’t need one, but I knew this was her way of saying sorry. We spent the rest of the evening having dinner and a few drinks at a bar. We didn’t want to go too overboard, we wanted to spend the day at the beach, with it being the summer there was a BBQ party event and Chris had managed to get us all VIP tickets.

 

The next day we all woke up and ordered our breakfast to the room, Charity and I decided to stay in bed to eat ours before getting up, ready and heading down to the beach, because of the VIP package we got a section close to a private bar with big sunbeds and chairs. I sat under the canopy, always burnt and I didn’t want to be in pain later on. Charity took of her shorts and t-shirt and stretched out in the sun with her little black bikini. I put on my sun hat and sat back in one of the chairs to read a book.

“Charity are you going to put any sun cream?” I asked as she looked at me over the top of her sunglasses

“No babe. I want to get a tan” she shrugged before lying back down, I just nodded and flipped the page of my book.

A couple of hours later and Charity brought over a tray of cocktails and shots

“Here we go” she said as she placed the tray onto the table “Sex on the beach” she pushed the bright coloured liquid towards me

“Its just gone twelve” I rolled my eyes but accepted the drink anyway taking a large swig

“And this is a party. It’s never too early” she winked at me before placing a kiss to my cheek.

The next thing I remembered was opening my eyes and seeing Chris and Michael on one of the sunbeds but everyone else had disappeared.

“Where is everyone?” I asked

“They are doing some games over there” Chris said as he pointed up the beach “She didn’t want to wake you”

“Thanks” I said as I pulled my dress over my head and made my way over to the crowd.

“CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG” was being chanted as I moved further towards the front, I spotted Charity with some guy, she was downing a pint of beer. I smiled and joined in with the cheering before she finished and raised the glass to her head, screaming in victory. It was good to see her happy and enjoying herself even if she was going to be pissed.

She spotted me and made her way through the crowd, swaying slightly.

“Did you see that babe?” She slurred leaning down to kiss me

“Yeah. Impressive” I accepted the kiss

We stayed playing games and even I had started to get tipsy. The DJ played the music and we all danced away, it was difficult on the sand, but I was having the time of my life. The DJ called out for the next song.

“Luckily we’ve had good weather today, but I want everyone on their feet, dancing to this one”

The first few chords strung out and me and Rhona shrieked at each other. We had always danced around to this song when we were younger.

 

_Hi Hi. We’re your weather girls_

_AH-HUH_

_And have we got news for you_

_You better listen_

_Get ready, all you lonely girls_

_And leave those umbrellas at home_

_Alright_

We all bounced around singing and laughing away. Charity wrapping her arms around my waist, as we moved together. She whispered a few of the lyrics into my ear.

 

_I’m gonna go out to run and let myself get_

_Absolutely soaking WET_

She pinched my bum and I turned in her arms, kissing her gently.

 

 

As the day drew to a close and the sun had started to set. We all sat around the canopy, eating and laughing. Charity was worse for wear and was leaning the majority of her weight into my side, laughing every now and again.

“This has been one of the best days ever” she hiccupped in my ear. I grabbed her thigh and hummed quietly in agreement. I felt her tense beside me, carefully lifting her head so that her lips touched my ear.

“Ness, I think I’m going to be sick”

“I knew drinking that much wasn’t a good idea. You’re not indestructible you know” I joked but when I looked up her face was deadly serious, she had gone pale “Not here” she whispered

“Right” I announced “Me and Charity are just going for a walk” which was met by a few wolf whistles from the group. Charity rolled her eyes and we escaped across the sand and towards the rocks overlooking the sea. I handed her a bottle of water and told her to take small sips. I pulled off the hair tie she was wearing on her wrist and pushed her hair back off her face.

“Can we just stay here for a bit?” she mumbled her legs shaking. She let go of me and laid herself back against the rocks with a groan, she gestured for me to join her. I did, shuffling around to rest beneath her arm as she wrapped it around me. We lay in silence for a while. She had got the colour back in her cheeks, we could still hear the DJ playing away in the distance. I was enjoying myself, but I couldn’t help thinking this was our last couple of weeks together in the same place, I felt the tears stinging at my eyes, I never wanted to lose Charity, I would be seeing her at Christmas, but I still felt like I was grieving. How was I going to cope 150 miles from her? Her smile? Her laugh? My heart ached.

“I can hear your cogs turning” she said suddenly. I giggled and curled further into her arms “What are you thinking?” she asked

“Nothing” I shrugged

“ I really love you, you know”

“I know. I love you too”  I placed a kiss to her shoulder “Even if you are a soppy drunk”

“I’m not” she paused “ We will be ok you know”

“I know” I said again, not trusting my voice to say more than a few words. We were silent for a few more moments.

“We will keep in touch wont we? You will call?” her voice sounded so vulnerable

“Of course. I don’t think I could bear it if we didn’t” I tucked a piece of stray her behind her ear and placed a feather light kiss to her lips “ I know I don’t say it, but I am going to miss you so much”

“I’m going to miss you too, but we will get through it” her lips brushing my throat

“Are you feeling better?”

“Yeah, I’m not going to be sick now.”

The group called us over and we headed back to the hotel. We spent the night cuddled up in the sheets. Charity’s head on my chest as I lay on my back looking up at the ceiling, her soft snores filling the room. I held her tighter as everything swarm round my head. This was a great little get away and we all made some good memories. I was so in love with Charity Dingle.


	13. Easy like a Sunday morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emmerdale, 2019

_:Emmerdale, 2019:_

I found it strange how easy its always been with Charity. All those years ago and now. We had still kept it fairly quieter the week after Valentines. I respected Charity wanted to tell her children first, they didn’t know me apart from the odd conversation at the dinner table with Noah and Moses. I had ended up having a long in detailed conversation with Tracy the day after Valentines. She had promised to keep it a secret and it was good to get everything off my chest. She told me I was a dark horse and to just be careful this time.

 

On Thursday morning I met Charity at the nursery, I had taken Johnny to Liverpool fir a few days  to meet up with an old friend and her children, so I hadn’t seen her, we had texted often though, and it was all beginning to feel like a proper relationship. It felt different to the last time.

 

“Good Morning Chatty and Moses” Johnny shouted across the playground.  They both smiled and Moses came bundling over grabbing Johnny’s hand and running towards the doors.

“Hi babe” Charity greeted me

“Hi, you ok?” I asked

“Mmm yeah, I’ve missed you. Fancy a coffee before work?”

“Yeah, I’ve got time” I glanced at my watch

“Well if you have time babe, come back to the pub”

“I haven’t got that much time Charity” I rolled my eyes, mind in the gutter as usual.

“Noah is staying over with a friend this weekend, Moses is with Ross, fancy a little sleepover of our own Miss Woodfield?” she shot me a wink which made me blush.

“Of course. I’ll have Johnny. Dad is off somewhere with Megan and Tracy is going into town”

“Sounds good babe”

We walked over to the café and ordered our breakfast and spent some time together before we both left for work with the promise of seeing each other Saturday.

The vets were relatively quiet with a few surgeries that Rhona and I completed together. I had decided to tell Rhona about Charity and I. She had been my best friend all those years ago and she still was now, I owed it to her.

“What are you up to after work?” I asked as she delicately  started the surgery.

“Leo is with Marlon for the night and Pete is off out with some of the lads”

It’s strange that Pete and Rhona got back together after everything that had happened with Marlon, but they were childhood sweethearts. Rhona had met Charity back in the day but had never mentioned her when I started working in Emmerdale and hasn’t mentioned anything since, we started meeting up for the ‘kids’.

“Can you come to the pub for  a drink?  I want to talk to you about something?”

“Something or someone?” I saw her smirk behind her mask.

“Shut up Rhona, 7? Give me a chance to get Johnny down?”

“Of course. You’re buying!” She finished up the procedure and we went about the rest of the day.

I ran over to the pub at 7:15, stumbling through the door. Charity face lit up from behind the bar and I scanned the room for Rhona, I couldn’t see her, so I headed for the bar.

“Hi” I smiled “ Have you seen Rhona? We are meeting for a drink” I picked up a beer mat and began fiddling with it

“She popped into the toilet I think”

“Ok good, I really didn’t need her standing me up!” I heard a loud gasp and looked up at Charity, her mouth had dropped, and she moved closer to me.

“Vanessa” she hissed “Are you two-timing me with Rhona?”

“Shut up”

She giggled before reaching for a pint glass and filling it with amber liquid and sliding it across the bar, before retrieving a wine glass and pouring one for Rhona.  The door from the toilets swung open and Rhona came back in shooting over a smile and heading for the table in the corner. I handed over some money to Charity before grabbing the glasses and turning towards the table.

“Sorry I was late Rhona, Johnny wouldn’t settle at all” I pushed the wine glass towards her and shrugged off my coat.

“No worries” she smiled taking a sip of her wine

We just started chatting about our life really, not what I specifically asked her to the pub. Charity kept glancing over with a dirty smirk or wink. I hoped that Rhona didn’t notice.

“She likes you” she nudged my arm

“I hope so” I rolled my eyes, turning my attention away from Charity to focus on Rhona.

“I warned you she was trouble Vanessa, there has been so many stories of her bad decisions over the years”

“I love her Rhona” I shrugged my shoulders, nobody knew Charity like I did.

“Vanessa you have lived her for 2 months, how do you love her?”

“You are seriously telling me you don’t remember?” I raised my eyebrows and crossed my arms, I didn’t want to fall out with her over this.

“Am I missing something Vanessa?”

“Rhona? She was the girl, all through college”

“No she isn’t?” Rhona almost squealed, she looked generally shocked “The one that broke your heart with no explanation?”

“Yes. Thanks for the reminder. There is an explanation”

“I generally can’t believe, I remember her around the college, I didn’t think it was Charity Dingle. I didn’t know her surname in college”

“Well you were normally too busy gallivanting with Pete to pay attention to what I got up too”

“I can’t believe it. You have been working in the same village all this time and never bumped into her?”

“Not once” I stated

“I’m happy you found her after all these years, but be careful Vanessa, just remember how badly you suffered the last time” she rubbed my shoulder.

“Thanks Rhona” I smiled and took another swig of my drink. Charity didn’t have a face that was easily forgotten, I wasn’t sure if Rhona was telling the truth or if she had just been trying to protect me from her. Rhona’s phoned beeped and I knocked back the rest of my drink before standing.

“Do you want another?” I gestured towards her glass

“I best be off, Pete’s on his way back. I will see you at work tomorrow, we can have a proper chat if its quiet I want to know details.” She stood and grabbed her bag and coat before pulling me into a hug “Sorry if I upset you Ness”

“No its fine. I’ll see you tomorrow” I waved her off before heading back to the bar, my mood had deflated but I was going to have another drink with Charity before heading home, I may bring it up at the weekend.

“You ok babe? Same again?” she took my glass and began to re-fill it as I perched on a stool at the end of the bar.

“Yeah all good. I’ve told Rhona about us” I kept my voice quiet, leaning over the bar.

“What did she say?” Charity clasped her hands together

“Not much” I shrugged, I wasn’t in the mood to talk about it.

 

I finished work on Friday on a high, I had the weekend off and I wasn’t going to be on call, Johnny was finishing Nursery in an hour and Charity would be over tomorrow for some well-deserved time together. I spent my evening in front of the telly with Johnny watching cartoons and once he was in bed, I cleaned up the house for Charity’s arrival tomorrow afternoon. As I climbed the stairs to get into bed, I checked my phone and saw a text from Charity

‘ I’m working the early shift tomorrow. Will be done by 2’

‘Ok. Come over when you are ready.’

‘Can’t wait’

I woke the next day, to the sun beaming through the curtains. Johnny had climbed into my bed at some point and was playing with his iPad.

We lazed around for a bit, I helped him with a few games before getting up and getting ready. Tracy was banging around downstairs once we got down there throwing things into an overnight bag as she went.

“Morning” I shouted out as I plonked Johnny on the sofa

‘Oh Hi V, Hi Johnny, Sorry I’m really late’

‘Have a good time and be safe’ I gave Tracy this pep talk every time she went out, she may be an adult but she was still my sister.

‘See you tomorrow evening’ she kissed my head as she flew out the door and ran down the path towards the taxi waiting for her.

 

I spent the morning pottering about whilst Johnny watched the telly, he was currently sitting with his lunch in his lap when my phone pinged from the dining table.

 

A text from Charity read ‘MAJOR CRISIS. Ross is in hospital. No babysitter for Moses’ with a string of sad faces at the end.

‘Double sleepover?’ I simply replied back, I was really looking forward to tonight and didn’t want to cancel.

‘Are you sure?’

‘100%’

‘We’ll be over in half an hour. Can’t wait to see you’ I smiled at my phone before putting it in my back pocket, we had just enough time to pop to David’s and get some snacks and something for dinner.

“Johnny get your coat on. Moses is coming for a sleepover” I had never seen my child move so quick, screaming with joy as he raced to get on his coat and shoes.

 

The night had been quite successful, we had managed to get Johnny and Moses down after an evening of popcorn, movies and mayhem. It was good that everyone got on well and meant times like this could happen more often.

“Shall we stick on a more adult film now?” Charity almost whined as we came down the stairs. I simply folded my arms and raised and eyebrow, in which she let out a laugh.

“I thought my mind was always in the gutter?” She quipped back, waltzing over and sliding her arms around my waist.

“I’m not interested in watching another film, I think its time we get ourselves off to bed” I took her hand and led her back towards the stairs.

“I like the sound of that” She smacked my bum as we giggled like schoolgirls.

 

As we lay wrapped up in the sheets hours later, my head on Charity chest listing to the beat of her heart.

 

“I’m going to tell everyone tomorrow about us”

“Really? Are you sure you’re ready?” I questioned

“Yeah. You was brave enough to tell Rhona and I can be brave enough to tell my children. I don’t want to hide you anymore.” She kissed my head before snuggling back down onto the pillow, her arm tightening around me.

 

As I woke the next morning Charity wasn’t beside me. I could hear the TV on downstairs so presumed she had got up for the boys. I glanced at the clock it had just turned 9am, I stretched out my limbs before finding my dressing gown, with a quick trip to the bathroom, I gently padded down the stairs, I stopped half way to listen to what Charity was babbling on about to the boys, the radio softly filling the air.

“Your mummy loves this one Johnnybobs” the volume cranked up higher as the opening tune filled the room and Charity started humming along.

 

_Know it sounds funny but, I just can't stand the pain_

_Girl, I'm leaving you tomorrow_

_Seems to me girl you know I've done all I can_

_You see I begged, stole, and I borrowed (yeah)_

I crept the rest of the way down the stairs, Charity was stood making a coffee, back turned away from me. I wrapped my arms around her waist and twist her round, her hands finding her way round my neck as we swayed to music, as the chorus approached, I spun her round and we laughed before singing towards the boys.

_Oh that's why I'm easy_

_I'm easy like Sunday morning yeah_

_That's why I'm easy_

_I'm easy like Sunday morning_

This really was an easy Sunday morning, I could used too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im back again! Sorry I don't update often, I saw something on twitter saying they didn't enjoy this fic and I let it knock my confidence and I was sat on this chapter for ages thinking it wasn't good enough however I know there are a few that really enjoy it so I've updated for you guys. Let me know what you think! 
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for the patience! XO


	14. Sex on the beach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leeds, 1994. The last night before Vanessa leaves for University

 My legs felt so unsteady, walking to the bus stop that final night, that I almost stumbled on more than one occasion, my head light and my stomach wracked with nerves. I tried my best to shake it off, squeezing my eyes shut and forcing a smile onto my features as I neared her, but still I couldn’t quite lift the pain I felt in my heart. 

“There you are, I was beginning to think you had stood me up!” Charity exclaimed

I let out a nervous chuckle, leaning forward to give her a chaste peck on the cheek, as friends normally would. It was the largest display of affection we could show in public.

“Of course not. I just…” my mind was blank “It’s just” She rested her hand on my arm.

“I know” she murmured shakily “Me too”

The good thing about our relationship was we always knew what the other was thinking, we could finish each other’s sentence. We just got each other.

We stood silently waiting for the bus, before she seemed to pick herself up, standing straighter. “Look, I got you something,” she announced, fishing about in her bag. Before I had chance to say anything, she pulled out a CD . “Well, I _made_ you something,” she corrected, holding it out to me. I took it from her, I saw the note scribbled on the case.

_‘Vanessa, these are the songs that remind me of us, or the ones that remind me of you. I’ve got my own CD so we can listen until we see each other again. Love C xx’_

My mouth fell open as I blinked back the tears “Thank you” I stammered “This is amazing. I didn’t get you anything” I looked at her with an awkward smile.

“No, don’t worry. Chris helped me do it, we thought it would be nice to see what memories we could fit on it”

“Memories?” I flipped the case over looking for the list of songs “Why? What’s on it?”

She shook her head.  “No,” she grinned, her eyes twinkling. “No track lists. You can listen to it and see what I’ve managed to recollect — see if you can remember them all!”

 

I raised my eyebrows in challenge. “Well, I’ve got a better memory than you!”

“Rubbish!” She laughed, turning at the bus approached. “You’d forget your head if it wasn’t screwed on!”

 

“Speak for yourself!” I shoved her playfully by the shoulder as we boarded, slipping the CD into my bag as I got my money out for the fare.

 

“Oh, and the last song isn’t one we’ve listened too, but I thought that is so Vanessa!”

“Oh god, what is it?”

She laughed, nudging me with her shoulder. “Nothing _that_ bad. You’ll see! I wonder if they’ll play it tonight,” she wondered aloud.

They did.

 

“This is it! This is your song!” She gushed as track began. We were already on the dancefloor at this stage. As this was our last night, both of us had made a conscious effort to stay more sober than usual. We didn’t want to forget a single moment of the night ahead, much less have it cut short should one of us overdo it, so only had a couple of glasses of my very favourite drink before we were off, dancing away.

 

_Oh wee oh wee oh - da girl them, da girl them, da girl them ho! Oh wee oh wee oh - come on, there's a party tonight_

_Real and crucial people! Original king lover, talkin' upon the microphone Yes, me come like Al Capone And me sing:_

_I wanna have sex on the beach_

_Come on, move your body_

_Sex on the beach_

_I wanna have sex on the beach_

_Come on, there’s a party_

_Sex on the beach_

 

“How on earth is this me?” I yelled over the music, an eyebrow raised challengingly.

“How is it not? Your favourite cocktail is sex on the beach and if I remember rightly from our little weekend away, you definitely wanted a little sex on the beach” She laughed, pressing her thumb to my pouted lips. We laughed together, I knew she meant it as a joke but there was some truth in what she was saying.

We stayed on the dancefloor for most of the night, jumping and twirling, desperately trying to shake off the dark cloud that hung above us, reminding us that this was the end. I tried to enjoy the moment, and I did, watching her, how beautiful she was when she danced, how much I admired her and loved her, how lucky I was that we had had all this time, but still my heart ached. I contemplated getting another drink, in the hope of allowing myself to relax a little more, but I didn’t want anything at all to take away from the time we had together. And it wasn’t as though I suffered alone; I could tell by the way her lip wobbled from time to time, and how she blinked just that little bit harder, every now and then, that she was feeling it too.

We kept looking at our watches, too. Both of us wanted to stay until the end, so that we could have our last ‘last dance’, but the urge to finally be alone, to spend our final night in the hotel together, made us both wish that 3am would hurry up, then immediately feeling guilt realising that we were wishing away our final hours together, so eventually gave up on it, leaving the club just before midnight in favour of having our time alone together.

“There’s a radio in there, we can just have our own last dance!” Charity suggested enthusiastically as we climbed the stone steps to the hotel, but her cheery tone was interrupted by her voice breaking on the last syllable. I reached out and squeezed her hand, steadying her as we booked in.

 

“Alright?” I whispered, brushing my thumb over her knuckles.

 

She let out a sigh, biting the inside of her cheeks as her eyes glittered. “Yeah,” she said shortly, and I knew that she was barely holding herself together. 

By the time the bedroom door swung closed behind us, I noticed the first tear roll down her cheek.

 

“Hey,” I murmured, tossing my bag and jacket down onto the bed and spinning her round to face me as she stood, her eyes downcast and her hair fallen into her face. “Who was it that said no tears?” I lifted her chin with my fingertips, tucking her hair behind her ear and wiping her eyes with the pad of my thumb. She barked out a laugh, avoiding my gaze. 

“I just have something in my eye,” she lied jokingly, and I couldn’t help a fond smile, my arms coming up around her shoulders to pull her into an embrace.

“We’re going to be okay, remember,” I insisted, as much for my own benefit as hers. “We can phone each other, and Christmas isn’t too far away.” I pressed my lips to her temple, feeling her arms tighten around my waist as we stood in the silence with heavy hearts.

 

She nodded, her cheek brushing against mine as she did so. “I know,” she breathed, steadying herself. “I know. I’m fine. Don’t worry.” She pulled back with a tearful smile.

“Let’s just have a little cuddle” I said, grabbing her hand and pulling her onto the bed, flicking on the radio as we went. She discarded her bag and jacket with mine, our hands only disconnecting long enough for her to pull her arm out of the sleeves, before climbing on after me, nestling in the crook of my arm as I leant against the headboard. I closed my eyes, savouring the feeling of her in my arms, of the gentle thud of her heart against my side through our tops, of the sweet scent of her curls as I buried my nose in them.

“I love you,” I whispered into her hair, squeezing her hand as I did so. Her grip

tightened.

“I love you too.”

Slowly, her breaths became less ragged, the emotion that was choking her becoming less overpowering as we lay there, listening to the radio and enjoying the feeling of our bodies resting against one another. I was beginning to feel almost sleepy, and quickly shook myself, not wanting to lose even a second that I had left with her.

 

“Come on, lets have the last dance” I shook her and climbed off the bed turning the radio on as some cheesy pop song blared out, it was perfect, and we danced about the room.

 

Suddenly I was flying through the air, her strong arms lifting me and spinning me around as the beat picked up. I squealed excitedly, my legs dangling as she spun me before landing me down with a thud and pulling me into a half embrace, one hand interlinked and the other around one another’s waist, dancing around the room like a couple of drunks at a wedding. If the people downstairs shouted complaints at our thudding about, I didn’t register it; I was too lost in her giggles and the wicked glint in her eye, until eventually with an elated laugh she reached around to cup my arse, using it as leverage to lift me up and throw me back onto the bed before climbing on top, her golden necklace dangling just above my heart.

“I’ve been wanting to do this all night,” she growled as she tore at my blouse, her lips falling to the base of my neck as I writhed beneath her, my fingernails clawing at her back over her top before tugging it from her jeans.

“Took you long enough,” I breathed, arching into her as I smoothed my palm across her bare back.

“Hmm,” she murmured, her lips travelling across my collar as she opened my blouse roughly, popping a few buttons along the way. “I don’t know how I resisted. How do I ever resist ravishing you, the moment I set eyes on you? You’re so fucking _sexy_ …” She dipped her hands below the waistband of my trousers, giving my arse a rough squeeze.

I giggled happily, my fingers coming up to knot in her hair. “I don’t think I’d object to that,” I mused. She lifted her head back up, her eyes meeting mine with a playful sparkle. “Kiss me,” I ordered, and she obliged, her mouth hot and wanting on mine as we nipped and sucked at one another’s lips, tongues pushing forcefully and tasting one another as if it were the very first time, hungry and needing and insatiable.

She let out a surprised squeak as I flipped her onto her back, pinning her arms above her head as I pressed a thigh between hers, causing her to gasp as she ground down involuntarily, heat rising up her throat.

“I don’t know why… you think you’ve got any chance at holding me down…” She teased, her breaths becoming ragged as I moved my knee against her. “You know I could have you begging in less than thirty seconds…”

 

“Could you?” I breathed against her lips, moving one hand to unbutton the front of her jeans. “How about…” She groaned, canting her hips as I dipped a finger into her underwear, feeling how soaked she was for me. I dragged my forefinger up her slit, spreading her wetness so that she was slick all over. “… Now?”

A high-pitched, strangled gasp burst from her lips as my forefinger brushed directly over her clit in just the rhythm, I had found to make her lose all control, her back arching and legs trembling and speech incoherent as I applied more and more pressure.

Fuck… Ness… I… You… Ohhh…” She whimpered as I leant down to place an open-mouthed kiss to her exposed throat, grazing her delicate skin slightly with my teeth “Oh God…”

I ran my tongue in a long, wet line up her jugular, along her jawline, to the sensitive skin behind her ear. “Not so cocky now, are we?” I whispered.

 

If she thought about challenging me, that notion was quickly dissolved as I increased the speed of my fingers, teeth nipping at the side of her neck as she bucked her hips wildly, her moans increasingly high in pitch and her words unintelligible. “Sorry, what was that?” I smirked as I saw her brow furrow in concentration, her mouth hanging open and her breaths erratic. “I’m not letting you cum until I get a properly formed sentence out of you.”

 

She whimpered, throwing her head back violently and attempting to steady her breathing, but still I kept up my pace. “Vanessa… _Fuck!”_ She swallowed hard. “Fucking hell, I… you’re so good at that please… _please_ …” She whined as I sucked at the base of her neck, my other hand still loosely pinning her wrists together above her head.

 

I let out a fast and shaky breath, her words jolting to my core until I was burning, a fresh surge of wetness coating my sex and I couldn’t hold back any longer. She near shrieked as my fingers quickened, applying hard pressure directly to her clit. I noticed her skin flushing under my lips and knew that she was about to come undone.

 

I flopped down beside her, her hand slipping from my wrist to interlink our fingers. We lay for a while, gathering ourselves, our chests heaving.

“I’m going to miss this,” she murmured eventually, her hand squeezing mine. “How has the time gone so fast?”

“Time flies when you’re having fun,” I recited, and she barked out a laugh.

“That’s one word for it.” She turned her head, her gaze flickering between my eyes and my lips before leaning in for another kiss.

“I love you,” she breathed, her hands leaving mine to tangle in my hair as I moulded to her, and soon we were at it again, though this time with much less clothes.

We didn’t sleep at all that night. We were both too conscious of the time we would be wasting by doing so, and so resolved to keep awake, talking and reminiscing and making love until the sun rose outside our window, and reluctantly we had to board the bus home.

 

“So, I suppose this is it,” she announced. We were at the end of our adjoining streets, had been for about five minutes before either of us spoke. All we could do was stand there half-awkwardly, avoiding one another’s gaze, finding it impossible to think of anything we could possibly say to sum up how we were feeling.

“Yes, I suppose it is,” I replied evenly, my chest tight. She stared at me for a few moments, before seeming to think ‘fuck it’ and pulling me into an embrace.

“I love you,” she whispered into my ear, her cheek resting against mine.

“I love you.”

I squeezed my eyes shut tight against tears as we stood in that position for far longer than was to be passed off as normal between friends. She pulled back slightly, bringing her lips to my cheek to place a gentle, lasting kiss there until suddenly she could seem to hold back no more and placed a final, poignant kiss to my lips.

She pulled back quickly, wiping her right eye with her forefinger before reaching her hand up to caress my cheek, her thumb delicately moving to smooth away where her tears had stained there.

 

“You’ve gone soft on me Miss Dingle” I joked

“Yeah well you’ve made your way into here pretty fast” she tapped on her chest

“I’ll ring you as soon as I get settled in” I gave her another kiss before heading towards my house “Look after yourself”

“Knock them dead kid” Charity shouted

That was the last time I saw Charity Dingle.


	15. Sign, Sealed, Delivered, I'm Yours.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And they lived happily ever after.....

I tried calling her as soon as I got settled in, but I got no answer. I tried visiting her after the first term, she didn’t live at Chris’s mum’s anymore. There was radio silence and I had no idea why. A few of my roommates from University where going out before Christmas and I decided to tag along, try and get Charity out of mind. I drunk far too much and met a guy, he asked me to dance which I accepted and followed him to the dancefloor. I squeezed my eyes shut tight as he rested his chin on my bare shoulder, stubble scratching my skin in a way that made me feel dirty and invaded. _Fuck her, fuck her, fuck her_.

My heart was in my throat, my stomach spinning with the alcohol. I tried to focus on something else, but it all just felt so _wrong_. His hands on my waist, too big and too clumsy, his shoulders too tall and broad beneath my fingertips, his sharp aftershave and the harsh scent of Special Brew on his breath. His hair was too short and his jaw too square and his skin too rough and his eyes too blue and just _not_ _her_. It just felt _wrong_.

And that was that. I could hold it no longer, could no longer stand the feeling of his body against mine and could no longer stand the hurt that had been building up in my chest for the past four months. I could no longer keep my emotions in check, pretend that I was okay, pretend that I had a heart that wasn’t shattered beyond all recognition and that I hadn’t lost all sense of myself, my identity, who I was, what I lived for, which way was up.

So I burst into tears. Right in the middle of the dancefloor. And they weren’t just tears, tears that I could pass off as just being a little bit overemotional or ‘time of the month’. No, they were big, ugly, violent, all-consuming sobs that took over my entire body until I could do nothing but stand there, my face in my hands, my knees trembling with the effort of not throwing myself onto the floor and giving up on all life. They were the kind of sobs that give you a sore throat for days afterwards, the kind of tears that burn acidic in your eyes, the kind of hysteria that removes any self-consciousness about being seen in such a state in a public place. I did not care; all I was aware of was my own heart, laying in tatters in my chest, and the fact that I had lost her, forever, and not for the life of me seen it coming.

My friends were confused, of course. They took me home, cleaned me up, put a bucket next to my bed and a big glass of water, told me that they supported me through anything and that they would always be there, if I needed to talk. But I couldn’t talk. I could never speak another word about Charity flaming Dingle. So the next day I woke up, had a shower, put the CD away, and got on with my life. It took me a while to get over the fact I would never see her again, I spent years at University getting up to no good with Rhona by my side. I slept with a few people (men and woman) but no one ever compared to the way Charity made me feel. It felt like a lifetime, but I managed to get my degree and had been offered a job in Harrogate which I accepted, the start of something new.

 

 

_Emmerdale 2020…_

I was staring at the ceiling, had been since four, so the fact that my alarm was now ringing at seven almost fell on deaf ears. Today was the day, the day my life official changed forever, the day I had been waiting for, for twenty-five years and god was I ready for it……ready to love and be loved, ready to face the world as Mrs and Mrs Dingle. I giggled out loud as I stretched in the out in our bed, bones popping, wondering what Charity was doing over at the woolpack, wondering if she had slept or like her had laid away in sheer excitement. There was a soft knock on the door, I called for them to come in. Johnny bundled into the room and onto the bed and  an excited squeal followed from Tracy.

 

“Happy Wedding Day. The sun is shining, not a cloud in the sky, and it’s getting hot already” Tracy informed me as she opened the curtains. “Bernice and Kerry will be here in half hour. Breakfast with Champagne is on the table”

“I’ll be down now” I  pushed off the duvet, her phone beeped on the bed side table.

‘Good Morning. I’ve got you a little gift for your wedding morning, check the bottom wardrobe door. I can’t wait for you to be my wife’ the text from Charity read, I walked over to the wardrobe and pulled out a silk robe. She looked at the back ‘bride to be’ was placed in diamantes all across the back. I put her arms into it and tied it tight around the waist. Tracy had set up the table with all sorts of foods and plenty of champers! I texted out a quick reply thanking Charity and sat down at the table, opting for a coffee first.

Bernice and Kerry arrived and helped us get made up to the nines. Johnny and Tracy had gone off to get dressed. Noah, Moses and Johnny all had matching suits. My bridesmaids Rhona, Tracy and Leyla were all wear pastel colours. I wanted to wear traditional white, I didn’t know what colour Charity was wearing.

As Bernice finished the final touches of my hair. I got into my dress. I wanted to call Charity and see how she was getting on, but I knew it was only an hour or so until we would be getting married! I waited in anticipation for the car to arrive.

The ceremony went off with out any hitches. I looked down at the two neatly stacked, wedding and engagement ring and couldn’t quite believe I had married Charity Dingle. The woman of my dreams from all them years ago. The gorgeous woman who sat next to be at the head table with an elegant white fitted suit, a lacy bodysuit underneath, her hair and makeup kept very simple and natural. And so Charity. All  I could hear  was laughter and all I saw was a sea of smiles. This truly was the best day ever. Charity grabbed my hand from under the table.

“Ready for the speeches?” As Zak clinked his glass to get everyone’s attention. I gave her a nod; we had decided to share our speech. I pushed my chair back and we both stood up, smiling up at each other before looking out at our guests.

“So, it’s official we are married” I held out my left hand and squealed, which was met with a crowd of cheers and clapping.

““And it’s not been an easy road, as most of you know this one is a handful and so flaming hard. Which is why we want to thank those of you that have been there for us……….as a listening ear, a voice of advice and reason and a fully pledge member of the Vanity fan club” I paused as the crowd laughed “When I met Charity Dingle all those years ago,  she was crazy and wild. Always up for a good time! She’s the same way now, but I see a side to Charity that a lot of you don’t get to see. I see the strongest fighter. I  see the person that has shown me love, the woman that has taught me to be brave. The person I have always loved, and I will continue to love for the rest of my life. I never imagined my life would turn out this way but I’m so thankful for it all” I swallowed the lump in my throat and wiped back the tears. Charity squeezed my hand.

“I will keep it short. Thank you, Vanessa, for being beautiful, forgiving, kind and let’s be honest the best ride of my life” I clipped her round the arm, my face blushing. I knew she couldn’t stay serious. “Ow” She rubbed her arm “ But for not only being my partner for the past year, but for being my best friend. You were the person that brought me out of a downward spiral and I’m... no! We are all eternally grateful for you and Johnnybobs. I am so happy you are my wife. We would also like to say a thanks to everyone in this room today, so thank you for your love and support, thank you for your compassion and care. We love our family so much and we are so proud of you all today, we are grateful for our friends. We love you all so very much.” Charity choked on the last word and the whole crowd started to cheer.

“Please continue to celebrate with us, we hope you have enjoyed the day so far and will celebrate into the early hours.” I raised my glass, before kissing Charity and sitting back down to the sound of applause. Noah then stood clearing his throat. I looked to Charity who looked just as confused as me, we had never arranged for Noah to give a speech.

“I wasn’t expected to give a speech today. I spoke to Ryan and Debbie, about one of the children making a speech and they thought it was such a good idea it should be down to me. We won’t embarrass you both with drunken stories or dodgy situations we have caught you in because let’s face it there just isn’t enough time to go through all of those events now” everyone laughed “Most of you in this room know, mum hasn’t always had it easy. She definitely hasn’t had luck with men, and she been through some horrific things” I squeezed Charity’s hand for the umpteenth time that day. I knew everybody knew what Charity was like, but Noah was laying it on thick. “We didn’t always get along well, what with her off in prison and busy gallivanting around with local convicts, our relationship was quite strained. So trying to build a relationship with a woman that in many ways was a stranger was tough, but she didn’t give up, she didn’t run away, she was patient with her moody angry children, she stood tall, she was not longer ashamed of who she really was and gave herself to us, every bit, the good and bad………but it was all her, all true. When we found out about her and Vanessa,  I wasn’t best pleased. I thought it was someone else, I would lose my mum too, someone else who wouldn’t stick around long. Vanessa determination to make us like her, really touched us and at last she was able to be the person she had always wanted to be with. Vanessa has brought out the very best in our mum, she had shown her how to love, how to show emotion. We knew it was about two people that just clicked, that had the upmost respect and love for each other and who found inner peace when together and not some scam. Our mums” He looked back at the rest of the children “ are fun, caring, loving and fiercely loyal and if you get the chance to call them family or friend then you are very lucky. We love you both loads and wish you all the happiness in the world.” Noah smiled widely as he blew kisses to us both. I couldn’t believe the boy he had become.

 

Chas, Zak and Tracy said a few more words before toasting us.

“I know Charity didn’t let Vanessa have any part in their first dance song so she’s dying to find out what it is, let raise a toast to the happy couple as they hit the dancefloor”

“Vanessa and Charity” everyone cheered, standing to their feet, we moved through the crowd as they followed us to the dancefloor.

“I swear Charity, you better not have put in some cheesy song from the 90’s for our first dance” I whispered as we held onto each other waiting for the music to start.

 

The beginning notes played out, I tipped my head back. I loved this song.

“Oh Charity I love it” I kissed her as we began to sway to the music.

 

_Like a fool I went and stayed too long Now I'm wondering if your love's still strong Oo, baby, here I am, signed, sealed, delivered, I'm yours!_

_Then that time I went and said goodbye Now I'm back and not ashamed to cry Oo, baby, here I am, signed, sealed, delivered, I'm yours!_

_Here I am baby Signed, sealed, delivered, I'm yours (You got my future in your hands)_

 

 

We swayed around centre of the dancefloor, before couples started to join us.

“I love you Vanessa Dingle”

“I love you too Charity Dingle”

“I can’t believe you are my wife” I said, going to pinch my arm.

“I always knew it” she shrugged beside me, I pulled back looking into her eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“After I left you all those years ago. I said if she is the one, if this was meant to me, she will come back to me. It just took a little longer than I liked”

“Oh, Charity that’s very sweet. I love you and here’s to the rest of our lives together”

“Here’s to our future baby. I love you, that’s just the way it is” I pulled her into a soaring kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's that! I've ended the story! I'm sad that its over!
> 
> I would just like to thank everyone for the support and love on this fic! I really enjoyed writing it! I'm still writing my other fics so be sure to check them out too!
> 
>  
> 
> XOXO


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